1+ year 2 months now...

It's been over a year now. I just miss him so much. I feel whatever I'm doing to cope with the fact he's gone hasn't really helped much and has been more of a distraction if anything. Nothing can fill the void his absence has left. There are times when it almost didn't feel real. It was very real to me. But ever since I watched him die it just feels like all 14 years were taken from me. Can't believe how fast and slow the year has gone...

I really wish he would give me a clear message from beyond to help guide me through this because it still feels like I'm just flying blind these days with nothing to really look forward to.