Discovered stimming after trained out of it

Always have had issues. The only acceptable stimming I got to have physically was my perpetual fingernail clicking and my cheek chewing. The rest was ‘trained’ out of me growing up because fidgeting with physical things wasn’t something I was allowed to do.

I just learned how to twirl pens and it was like a dam broke. I got some hand twirly quirky things, I have fidget cubes that are fun to squish. I love love love these and they really remove an almost unreasonable amount of mental strain I didn’t even know I was just carrying.

It’s so very real that stimming is natural and needed. I can’t believe the amount of pent up stress I was just carrying and letting out in such horrible ways.