Feeling frustrated at Husband

Hi - writing this in hopes of getting advice and confirmation on whether others have to deal with this.

I've asked my partner several times to not put certain items in the dishwasher and to hand wash them. Its mainly the kids items - most of the plastic and silicon dishes and Tupperware develop a smell and also stain. I've also asked him not to put knifes because they become dull and wooden items too.

Its been an ongoing conversation for almost a year now and he still does it. Today he was putting their cups in the dishwasher and I asked him to take off the silicon sleeves and put it separately because sometimes gunk collects underneath the sleeve. He basically became defensive and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. Then he left the sleeves on the counter. When I asked him if he was going to wash them, he said no. He said I was making his life more difficult and that I could wash them if I didnt want them in the dishwasher. This waa said after I had already spent nearly an hour washing the dinner dishes and cleaning up the kitchen. He literally came and put 3 items in the dishwasher and said that washing the cup sleeves would make his life difficult.

He repeatedly does this. I ask him not to put certain knifes in the DW and wash by hand so it doesnt dull the blade. He says thats making his life harder and leaves the knife in the sink for me to wash.

He does it with laundry too. Will never put away my clothes or our kids because he doesn't care enough to learn where they go. Hes literally never touched the kids dressers or put away their clothes in the 3 years they've been alive. Its starting to really get to me. I feel like asking him to hand wash a few items should not be an issue? But maybe Im naive and it is?

Any comments or feedback would be appreciated!