Came out as bi months ago but everything is still confusing?!

Hi there, I’m 21F and hope this doesn’t sound stupid.
I feel like I’m not bi enough to be bi.

So, growing up, my first ever attractions were with women in media, like I could’ve cared less about boys. Even my first sex dreams were about women (and still are like 95 percent of the time). But even with all this, I never crushed on girls growing up. But my brain was wild with fantasies.

As I went into high school I got super boy crazy, and forgot about questioning my sexuality. But all my celebrity crushes were more women than men. But I said “everyone thinks women are pretty right?”. If I had even a small inkling I could like a girl in real life, I distanced myself almost instinctively. I didn’t know why at the time.

Anyway, I go to college telling everyone I’m straight, but would be flustered and starstruck if a pretty girl talked to me. But I always backed away because I didn’t even want to think any further. I was terrified of pretty girls but had no idea why!

Well I think I know now, I guess I got drunk and just said to myself “yeah, I do wanna love a woman!” But here’s the thing.

I had some bad kisses with a woman.

I went on a date with a girl who was so so pretty, when we finally met, she seemed waaay different then over the phone but ofc still thought she was pretty. Later, we kissed and the first kiss was so soft and warm. But her kisses were weird, like she didn’t melt into them or anything. Also they were quick, not longing. What if it’s my fault, and I’m not into women and I’m LYING to myself?!?!

Chemistry wise we werent compatible, but I still think about her all the time romantically, like I definitely felt warm and fuzzy cuddling her, just the kisses weren’t it.

I still want to experience kissing a woman again, and sexual things too, but what if that situation proved I’m not actually interested in women?! I’m scared.