Family planning birthday at me and my ex’s special place

My birthday is coming up, and my family planned a celebration for me at a place that was very dear to me and my ex. Some of our best memories were there, and it’s very correlated with some of my best memories with him and his family.

My family… it’s rough. It’s a rocky relationship. There’s even abuse in parts, and it’s been a complicated situation for a while. I was stressed enough for this already, even without this factor.

If it was just that it was a special place for me and my ex… I would be uncomfortable, and not a big fan. But considering the state of my family… I don’t want to taint the memories with him and his family (the only decent family I ever had) with… this. With mine.

I feel sick. I can’t do anything. I don’t know how to enjoy myself. I don’t want to make an Instagram post there either, pretending like I’m fine and wanted to go there, when it’s like a sacred place. I was planning on making one, I was planning on celebrating my birthday in a way that would be special to me. I don’t want this, please.