seeing trans ppl 'in the wild' gives me the ick

I know i shouldn't feel this way. internalized transphobia or whatever.

I see them & it reminds me of me. they usually mog me hard, and they're visibly trans and I'm like "how noticeable and cringe must I be".

I've seen a few over recent weeks, and I felt awful afterwards, no fault of theirs obviously. sometimes i don't think about being trans for a while, and then they remind me. I fully acknowledge that I shouldn't feel this way

anyone else as terrible as I am? just me?