I cried about you today

I don't know why. I've changed my life so much since I last talked to you in April, but my mind always goes back to you. The distractions aren't working, so all I can do is wait until I stop thinking about you little by little. But it still hurts. Watching you kiss her in front of me, moving on so quickly without even giving me a proper apology. Making me look like I was crazy. Telling everyone that I was desperately trying to get your attention and win you back. I didn't do any of that because I don't want to force you to be somewhere you don't want to be. She can have you. But I'm still allowed to miss you. Maybe I truly meant nothing to you, but you meant so much to me even though I wasn't the nicest at times. I still cringe when I think about that time I cried while trying to give you head lol. I liked you so much and I didn't know how to process it. Anyways, I miss you. I'd let you back into my life in a heartbeat even if you don't want to be back.