it’s not other people’s fault it’s my own

i wonder why i never keep friends or relationships even though i am aware of how much i hate texting and how i am unable to laugh unless it’s an immature joke a 3 year old would laugh at

i have dm’s to read and i ignore them even though i want friends and want to maintain my friendships

i tell my girlfriend i have to go and give a stupid excuse just so i can be alone and cry

why do i distance myself from people i love? i do not deserve to be sad about it because it happened because of me

some people tell me i can’t help how i act about socializing online or offline because i’m depressed

but everyone in my life never struggles with maintaining relationships

it’s just me

i want to be alone but i want friends

friends don’t want to be alone

nobody wants to be your friend if you’re always distancing yourself

i’m a prick for expecting people to still be my friend even after i ghost them for a little just so i’m not overwhelmed

i think there’s just something wrong with me