I hurt the only person that genuinely cared about me and now i'm lost

TW/Cheating

We dated for about 8 months, she (24F) was the kindest, smartest and sweetest person that i (25M) have ever met. She was there for me when i was down and accepted me for who i truly was even when i told her that i was bisexual and an atheist (we live in an extremely religious and homophobic country).

But despite all of that, i cheated on her 6 months into the relationship by sexting with guys online. The are no excuses for what i did. It was such a selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful thing to do to her and the fear of hurting her by telling her the truth kept me from admitting to her... But after 2 months i decided to do what i obviously should've done from the start and admitted everything to her.

I apologized to her and told her everything, we broke up through text and we've had no contact with each other since that day. The last thing she sent me was "You'll never hear from me again".

Its been 7 months now since the breakup and the pain of hurting her hasn't gone away, and maybe it shouldn't. Im constantly thinking about what i did and how awful that was, how much pain i've caused her, the confusion, frustration and anger she must've felt.

I sometimes think that i should've apologized again, seeing as our last conversation happened so fast. Hoping that we could have some closure, but part of me feels that its just me selfishly wanting to talk to her again...