I’m Looking Everywhere for [ By the Time He Chose Me, I Was Gone ] — Any Suggestions?

Chapter 1

Ashton Langford, the eldest son of the Langford family, passed away from a sudden myocardial infarction at the age of thirty-two.

A heavy shroud of grief descended upon the Langford's manor.

Following the funeral, the family organized a grand memorial service to honor his memory.

The sky had been overcast all day; by evening, a steady rain finally began to fall.

Inside the front hall of the Langford's manor, the usual furniture was gone, replaced by somber black drapery and funeral decor.

At the altar, framed by a sea of blossoms, stood a portrait of Ashton. He wore a tailored formal suit, smiling gently in the frame.

The air was thick and cloying with the scent of flowers.

Lucinda Fairleigh had spent the entire morning receiving guests. Those who came today were all prominent figures from political and business circles—some familiar faces, others she had only ever seen on television.

Outside, the rain turned into a dense, rhythmic patter.

A guest accidentally spilled his drink. Lucinda stepped forward immediately, noticing a large stain spreading across his black shirt.

"Mr. Nash, please wait a moment. I'll go upstairs and find a spare shirt for you."

Peterson Nash looked at the graceful wife of Ashton's younger brother, offering a grateful nod. "That's very kind of you, Mrs. Langford. Much appreciated."

"It's the least I can do."

Lucinda glanced around. She had seen her husband, Jameson Langford, just a moment ago, but now he had disappeared.

She assumed Jameson simply couldn't bear the weight of Ashton's sudden passing; to outsiders, the brothers had always shared a very close bond.

Lucinda hurried upstairs. She remembered there were some spare clothes in the third room on the third floor.

Compared to the bustling first floor, the third floor felt significantly quieter.

Lucinda walked softly across the carpet. Just as she was about to push the door open, the sound of a woman's stifled sobbing drifted from inside.

Lucinda's heart tightened. She recognized the voice—it was Ashton's wife, Keira Vaughn.

"She must be devastated," Lucinda thought. "Losing a husband who has cherished her so deeply... no wonder she has slipped away to cry in private."

Lucinda had always been on good terms with Keira. Now, she felt she should go in and offer some comfort.

"Jem, do you know that Madam Langford is sending me abroad as soon as the memorial service ends?

"She won't allow an outsider like me to be in charge of the company's key projects anymore. She wants to kick me out of the inner circle.

"Jem, I don't want to leave. Please help me..."

Lucinda's hand froze midair, then suddenly withdrew.

The next second, Jameson's deep voice came from inside the room. "How do you want me to help? If you don't want to go abroad, I can plead with Grandmother on your behalf."

"I want a child," Keira's voice followed immediately.

Then came the faint sound of rustling fabric.

"Jem, give me a child, will you?"

Lucinda was stunned by these words. How could Keira make such a request?

"Kiki, calm down."

"Jem, are you still blaming me for choosing Ashton back then?"

Jameson said nothing. His silence lingered.

"It was Madam Langford's arrangement. I had no choice. That night..."

Keira's trembling sobs broke out again. "When I woke up, I found Ashton sleeping beside me. Jem, you've always known who I really lo..."

"Enough, let's not talk about this."

"Then, does that mean you agree?" Keira's voice carried a hint of joy. "I knew you wouldn't just watch me get sent away."

"Kiki, even if Ashton is gone, I will protect you and keep you here. Don't worry about that."

Keira sobbed softly, "But if I don't bear an heir for the Langford family, by what right can I stay? Jem, Cindy told me... since Sienna has a congenital heart condition, she has to care for that child her whole life and won't have any more children."

Jameson was silent for a moment before saying, "She never said that to me."

Keira's voice was laced with sorrow. "Cindy told me in private. Jem, Sienna's illness is lifelong. I can give you a healthy child."

Silence stretched between them, thick and suffocating. Then, the sound of a soft, lingering kiss broke the quiet. "Jem, this is the greatest wish of my life. Grant it to me... please?"

Outside the door, Lucinda stood frozen, a chill running through her. She couldn't bear to listen any longer.

She turned and headed back downstairs.

At the staircase, she saw her four-year-old daughter, Sienna Langford, skipping along and exchanging candies with a few other children her age.

"Mommy!" Sienna walked over happily and hugged her leg. "Mommy, I'm playing games with them. I'm having so much fun!"

Looking at her daughter's innocent little face, Lucinda felt an unbearable pain in her heart.

Lucinda knelt down and wiped the candy crumbs from the corner of Sienna's mouth.

Sienna pulled two chocolates from her pocket and tucked them into Lucinda's hand. "Mommy, these are for you."

A lump formed in Lucinda's throat as she took the chocolates with her cold fingertips.

Not far off, the master of ceremonies' voice announced for the guests to move toward the memorial hall.

Lucinda snapped back to her senses. She stroked Sienna's hair. "Sia, be a good girl and go find Kylee. Have her get you something to eat. I still have guests to attend to."

"Okay!" Sienna nodded obediently and skipped away.

Lucinda stood up, her fingers gripping the banister tightly as she took a deep breath.

So the peaceful marriage she thought she had, the brotherly bond, the closeness between Keira and her—it was all a beautifully crafted lie.

Lucinda walked slowly down the stairs. Faced with the guests coming to offer their regards, she was forced to put on a proper, graceful smile once again.

"Mr. Nash, I am terribly sorry. I couldn't find the spare clothes right away. I'll have the servant bring you a new towel and a trench coat; please make do with those for now so you don't catch a cold."

Peterson offered a polite word of thanks.

The memorial service began.

The funeral music played in low, haunting loops. Jameson, as the brother of the deceased, stood to deliver the eulogy on behalf of the family.

Lucinda looked up at the man on the platform. In his black suit, he stood tall, his handsome face etched with grief.

The man she had slept beside for six years now felt distant, as though a veil had fallen between them, leaving her unable to see him clearly.

She turned her head to look at Keira standing on the other side. Dressed in a long black gown with a plain white flower at her temple, her face was as pale as paper. Her eyes were red and swollen. Two close friends supported her on either side. She looked so fragile, as though she might faint at any moment.

Recalling the images of how well Keira usually treated her, Lucinda felt her stomach churn.

As the service neared its end, the rain outside lightened, and the guests began to leave.

Jameson saw off several important guests and then came to Lucinda's side, rubbing his brow. "You must be exhausted. You've been on your feet all day."

His voice was deep, and as he spoke, he reached out to tidy a stray lock of hair on her forehead.

Almost instinctively, Lucinda flinched, pulling away just enough to avoid his touch.

Jameson's handsome face faltered slightly, his hand freezing in mid-air.

Lucinda said, "I am a little tired. I'll take Sia back first; she needs her medicine tonight. You should stay and keep Madam Langford company."

On the drive back, four-year-old Sienna fell asleep in Lucinda's arms. The child didn't understand the meaning of parting; even in sleep, a satisfied smile lingered on her lips.

City lights streaked past the car window. Lucinda closed her eyes, and her heart suddenly felt hollow.

So it seemed that tenderness could be cheap, and deep affection could be hypocritical.

She knew that from this day on, some things could never go back to the way they were.

She gently touched her daughter's lovely face and leaned down to give her a kiss.

Not long after Sienna was born, she was diagnosed with congenital heart disease. It had been a massive blow to the entire family.

Fortunately, surgery could be arranged once she was older. But until then, she needed constant, careful care. Her diet and activities required special attention.

What happened tonight gave Lucinda a heavy blow.

She could no longer be the gentle wife who only focused on managing the household.

For Sienna's future, and for her own, she had to find out exactly what role her husband was playing in this so-called brotherly bond.

That night, Jameson stayed at the Langford's manor. Around eleven o'clock, he called home to check in.

"Cindy, a few important guests are still here. I need to stay and entertain them. You and Sienna should get some rest early."