What if people only liked the masked version of me?

I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar after ummasking, and how you dealt with it.

A little over two years ago, I went on sick leave from work and was referred for an autism assessment, because of burn out. At the time, I was masking heavily. I was constantly trying to please everyone, saying yes to everything, keeping my calendar full, initiating plans, and organizing activities with friends and family.

I started working on unmasking, and it eventually became a big problem in my relationship at the time. My ex couldn’t handle the changes, we argued a lot, and eventually I left him.

I ended up moving in with my brother and his family, which I was incredibly grateful for. A few months later, while I was living there, I met my current boyfriend.

He has been absolutely amazing. He loves me unconditionally, accepts me exactly as I am, and encourages me to spend time with other people and do things that makes me happy. And I love him exactly as he is.

Because I finally had someone who made me feel safe enough to be myself, I gradually stopped masking almost completely.

I moved in with my boyfriend fairly quickly, but it just felt right.

Since then, I’ve slowly noticed things changing with my brother and his girlfriend, and with my closest friend and her boyfriend. At first, I didn’t think too much about it. I’ve had a lot going on myself, and after burnout I simply haven’t had the energy to deal with everyone else’s problems too. My boyfriend also agrees with me when I talk to him about my thoughts on these things.

I also started setting boundaries when I felt I wasn’t being treated well.

Yesterday, after I tried reaching out to my brother, he told me that I’ve changed and that this is why he has distanced himself from me. He thinks I’ve become selfish, and even questioned whether my boyfriend is a bad influence on me.

After several hours of crying and talking with my boyfriend, I called my closest friend. She basically said the same thing: that I’ve changed. She has mentioned this a few times before as well.

And now I’m sitting here feeling like the people closest to me are slowly distancing themselves from me, while also blaming my boyfriend for it.

But the thing is… he didn’t change me.

He supported me while I learned to stop pretending to be someone I’m not.

This is just me. Without the mask.

And honestly, I don’t know how to handle it. I feel like I’m on the verge of losing the people who have been my closest network.

I’m also really angry and hurt that nobody came to me earlier and actually talked to me about this. If they felt that I had changed, or that something was wrong, why didn’t they tell me instead of quietly distancing themselves?

Has anyone else experienced people reacting negatively to you after unmasking? Did you lose relationships because of it? And how did you deal with the feeling that people preferred the masked version of you?

TLDR: I stopped masking after being diagnosed with autism, and now the people closest to me say I’ve changed and have started distancing themselves from me. They also seem to blame my boyfriend, even though he has simply supported me in being myself. I’m struggling with the feeling that maybe they preferred the masked version of me.