Getting triggered by the pump that keeps me alive 😅

I’m fully TPN dependent (meaning I get all my nutrition and hydration through a line in my chest).

I run my TPN over 16 hours.

Lately I’ve started feeling triggered by the pump sounds lol. It’s actually pretty quiet, but it does make a sound as it’s pushing the liquid through.

My pump malfunctioned and started making a loud clicking sound. That’s when it started bothering me.

But they’ve given me a new one and now this one bothers me too lol 😅 (this one doesn’t make the clicking sounds, but still feels louder. I can’t tell if I’m losing my mind or if it’s actually louder than it used to be).

Either way, it now wakes me up multiple times through the night. Then I can’t go back to sleep because I’m angry.

This is actually relatively minor for me trigger wise, thankfully lol. I’m hoping it doesn’t get worse or I’ll be in a pickle 😂

It’s much better than trying to sleep in the hospital and I’m very grateful for the TPN in general lol. So I’m just trying to focus on that aspect of it.

But I don’t know why my misophonia brain had to pick up on the pump lol! Especially when I’ve been using pumps for years. Why now?? 😅

Misophonia. Always wanting to make life difficult.