I don't know what to title this

I didn't know I was transmasc until I was 22. I'm 24 now. Now that I know, I can't unknow it if that makes sense. Every time I look in the mirror I just see how ugly and uncomfortable I look. Recently I've been doing things that makes my dysphoria less. But honestly I want to hide away in my room and never leave until I fully transition. I don't want to have to wait any longer but unfortunately my parents would disown me if they found out and I need a place to sleep.

I just wish I could stay inside and never tell anyone that I'm trans but still transition so that I can become a man. Then I could go back outside and live my life to the fullest. I'm just so tired and anxious all the time. I honestly am losing hope. I don't see myself beginning my transition until I move out which could take years at this point.