I was blind for 13 years and I feel so angry about it

The red flags were there from the beginning and I ignored them… or better yet, I even encouraged some of his narcissistic traits. I always blamed his traumatic childhood for his anger outbursts and other little (or, spoiler alert, not so little) perks and moved past them.

Getting pregnant was an eye opener like in the case of many of you. He changed completely the moment he saw the baby for the first time on an ultrasound (a baby he wanted as well). He became cold, distant, selfish. I felt so incredibly lonely during the pregnancy. After the emotional distance, he started insulting my body. Then, after the baby was born it’s just gotten worse and worse. Emotional and verbal abuse, even threatening for physical violence several times. I couldn’t believe this is the same person I was together with for so many years, I was convinced he was my soulmate before all of this.

I started grieving my partner during pregnancy and I continued to do so for a while, still in shock that this is happening to me. His mask fell off completely the moment I decided to end the relationship. All this time he had made me feel it’s all my fault and of course I believed it. I started going to therapy 13
months postpartum and this is where I got my confirmation that I am dealing with a narcissist.

Now I can see everything so, so clearly and I keep reliving many moments from our relationship with a new perspective. I’m so angry, ashamed and frustrated that I didn’t see it sooner, when I could have wiped him completely out of my life.