just had a fight with my boyfriend and i am spiraling as a result

literally exactly what the title says. i’m not gonna go into details of what the argument was about, but he asked me a simple question, i answered honestly, and it turned into a full blown up thing where i ended up raising my voice (i didn’t scream or yell but my tone was aggressive and raised slightly which is very unlike me in our arguments) about things that he had done that i had been pushing down that had upset me. it was late at night, i’m on a medication where the main side effect is agitation and outbursts - which i know isn’t an excuse but it definitely didn’t help. tbh the things i said needed to be said at some point, but i absolutely did not go about it in the best way and it could have been avoided all together if i had just kept my stupid mouth shut. we left on a bad note and i kept asking for reassurance which was not what he needed and i frankly just didn’t know (i’m neurodivergent and don’t always pick the best timing… clearly) and he kept saying he loved me and he wasn’t going to leave and that we were fine but that he was sad. when he dropped me back off at my house, the goodbye was awkward and uncomfortable for both of us and i ended up bawling in the elevator up to my apartment and went right back downstairs to see if he was still parked outside (he was not) and i just feel like i fucked everything up. i texted him apologizing and he said he was going to bed and would text tomorrow but i just feel fucking awful. i don’t know what to even say. i just really hate arguing. it’s not like us, we rarely argue, but when we do it’s big. but he’s literally my soulmate. i have no doubt in my mind that he’s the man i want to marry and we’re going to be moving in together in november but i literally feel like i’m catastrophizing and i’m panicked that i messed everything up for the worst. i know everything will work out the way it’s supposed to but he’s literally my best friend and i don’t want to live without him. i don’t know how to. i know he loves me but i hate that i did this and i don’t know how to fix it other than with flowers and an in person apology when i see him tomorrow. help!!!!!!!!