my boyfriend is whoring me

just two years ago, he was telling me I’m the love of his life. I had a vision for my future, and it was happily ever after.

then came the wardrobe suggestions.

he was an exhibitionist by proxy, he said. he liked the attention, he was proud to have me on his arm. or perhaps he just liked feeling my discomfort as i tried and failed to pull the thin fabric over my underboob or arse cheeks in public. perhaps he liked seeing old men leer and try to cop a feel.

would be long until they felt whatever they wanted.

when he first started sharing me it was his mates. we’d come home at the end of a night out and he’d tell me to take off my clothes, urge me to get on my knees, show them a good time. and it felt good to make him happy, make him proud. even when he talks about me like an object, at least I’m his object. “you’ve gotta try her cunt.”

then came more organised gangbangs, with people he knew and with strangers. he told me he was proud of me. told me I was a good girl, told ne I was showing him how much I loved him by getting triple stuffed by strangers on a friday night. sometimes a queue of them if we went to the right club.

and I enjoyed it. my needs and wants moulded into the shape of his. when he told me I’d only be fucking fat old men because younger guys made him insecure, I started wanting them, dripping in their vicinity. when he said he wanted to see them do more dvp, that’s all I came to. when he confessed to putting the videos on the internet, I became his little pornstar.

and when, after 18 months, he started dating other girls because I was too loose, too much of a whore, too used up (“no guy can seriously date someone all their friends have fucked”), I wore it like a badge of pride. a badge and an opportunity - a chance to show him how loyal, how subservient, I really was. a chance to accept whatever role made him happy, whatever definition made sense: to be the pathetic little freeuse whore - not girlfriend - he needed me to be for him. to be happy with my designation.

so I kept fucking and filming whatever he wanted, whenever, whoever. afterwards he would stroke my hair and tell me none of the girls he dates let him do the things he gets to do to me.

pride and shame.

last friday, while he was deep in my arse, he told me he wanted to pimp me properly. I already know some of the men at certain gangbangs pay (I’ve seen cash exchanged), so why would this be any different? well, except for the fact he wouldn’t be around, as he admitted.

this would be a hotel room, cameras set up so he could watch. 10 cocks a day every weekend, he said, any hole. “you’ll take it like a champ.” so now there’s going to be an ad for me on all the main SW platforms. 50 cunt, 80 for all holes. 2 for 1 deals - bring a friend, don’t pay extra - which I know is just to make me squirm like an exposed tit or cunt lip would have 18 months. now on display and wide open for a long line of strangers.

he says my purpose is to please men, to be a good little cocksleeve, and I believe it fervently. more with every day. I have never felt so degraded, subservient, or whole.