my inconsiderate ex and the gaslighting

Pata hai aaj kya hua?

Aaj mujhe randomly realise hua ki my ex was probably the most inconsiderate person I’ve ever dated. And I’ve met plenty of inconsiderate people but what makes him stand out is that he couldn’t even be considerate towards his own girlfriend.

I obviously can’t write down every single instance because we’d be here forever, so I’ll mention a few that I remember, in no particular order.

I’m Jain and he’s Brahmin. He used to eat non-veg outside his home, although when we met, he had stopped eating it for medical reasons on his doctor’s advice. He still ate eggs (I know that whole veg/non-veg debate exists but that’s not the point) and I genuinely didn’t care. His choice.

But there were multiple times when he’d give me something to eat saying he’d cooked it himself, and I’d have to ask him multiple times whether it had eggs in it. And then he’d casually say yes and go, “So what?”

Like??? You KNOW I don’t eat eggs. Maybe it slipped his mind once, okay. But multiple times?

He also used to LOVE the chicken from this one particular place back when he ate non-veg. He’d talk about it all the time. Then he stopped eating it because of his health.

One day, completely randomly, he tells me, “I started eating that chicken again.”

I asked, “Since when?”

“Three months ago.”

Okay I guess? I asked what his doctor had said, and he told me the doctor said eating it occasionally was okay. So I was like, fine, whatever, it’s your health and your choice.

Then this mf leans in to kiss me and I see something very obviously stuck in his teeth.

I ask him what it is.

He literally eats it and goes, “It’s the chicken.”

?????????

You knew I don’t eat meat. You knew I was about to kiss you. You had just told me you’d been eating chicken for THREE MONTHS and somehow never thought this was something worth mentioning before getting intimate with me?

And this is just one example.

He borrowed money from me and never gave it back. Fine, whatever. But he'd look for attention online by texting random women asking them to his sugar baby. And he left that on his Twitter for me to find??? how fucking inconsiderate like at least hide it mf??? and when I talk about this, he'd go berserk. Tell me I was judging his need for attention. Grown adult man btw!?

He’d get me gifts that were completely inconvenient for me, and when I didn’t accept them, he’d sulk instead of just accepting that I didn’t want them.

And the biggest one: he never took my “no” as an answer.

He always had to convince me. If I said no, he’d try harder. And harder. And harder. If I still didn’t budge, he’d get louder and intimidating.

Looking back, it’s not even the individual incidents that bother me as much as the pattern. It was like my boundaries, preferences, comfort, and sometimes even basic consideration just didn’t register unless they aligned with what he wanted. And here I was bending over backwards for him.