I love to disapoint women

Hi, I dont know if Im an asshole for doing this, but I love to not being able to fuck anyone, but I keep "trying" just cuz I like the feeling of defeat.

I've been a loser pussyfree since ever and I completaly conditioned myself to be soft and limp around pussy (Prone, chastity and hypnos does wonders) I worship it, but I understand I dont deserve it.
Even so I go on dates, and eventually it leads to sex, the thing is I cant get hard, when they reach down on me and try to jerk my tiny shimp my mind goes crazy. I love to see how girls try hard to make a guy get a boner and I almost came the moment they gave up.
Then I aways end fingering and eating them, because one person in the room actually deserve to cum...
They all say things such "Its normal" "Dont worry it happens" "It doenst matter, I liked it anyway" But I aways can see the disapointament in their eyes, she came waiting to get pounded after all.

Then I go home just to lock myself to give myself my best plap. thinking about how she is gossiping with her friends about the loser who couldnt fuck her

Some girls are more resilient and try to give me more chances, but their all get bored at some point.

I must make it clear that I don't play with their hearts. I only date girls who want casual encounters.