Surprised people now know my new name and pronouns?

Hi, looking for feedback on this

I have a small circle of friends. Some of them work at the same restaurant, and I was a regular for a while. So many people there know me, and would know me "as a woman."

My actual friends here have not addressed me by my new name or used he/him pronouns, at least not to my face? They hesitantly use they/them, no longer seem sure how to compliment me (like masc or femme compliments I guess), and often refer to me by a gender neutral nickname I introduced myself as a while ago before coming out.

I was really shocked people at this restaurant now seemed to have knowledge of my new name and that I'm trans, since I don't really feel like my friends are treating me much differently in some ways. Someone I shared this with referred to this as me being "outed".

My friends do seem worried to offend me, but definitely still slip up and call me as a girl or just seem unsure how to refer to me. So I have whiplash.

Anyway the way it happened was also embarrassing. The barista just asked me if I went by "X name" now in front of everyone, I then I had to explain I am trans and going to transition soon. Some comments were jokingly made about how people just figured I was going through a style change.

I guess I should've been clearer I didn't really want people at this restaurant to know in particular yet, because I think some of them are homophobic and/or transphobic probably. They likely would've figured out eventually anyway though since I live in that area...

I have been open with my friends about my identity so they probably figured this information would've been the right thing to share.

I may need to tell them which contexts it's fine to be open, and others where it's not. For example my uber driver doesn't need to know, I'll just pretend to be a woman for a 15 minute car ride.

It just feels like the worst context I've finally benn acknowledged by them.