Not speaking in Portuguese despite being in Portuguese country (the struggle and trying to accept)

As someone who was born here in MZ but because of being introverted and not going much outside to socialize. My whole life i loved speaking in English because i was studying in English school and later i did studied in Portuguese too much i never feel the connection with Portuguese as much as i love English.

I don't hate but don't love PT either. I tried many things to like back and even try to speak but i can only fully understand and speak little bit the basic things.

I feel ashamed of not speaking in Portuguese, what people would think? Or how will i keep functioning here without speaking fluently? I wish English was widely spoken in this country and become second national language if that's possible...

Does anyone feels same?