im sorry.

my dearest, K*****l.

im sorry. there isnt a way that im not sorry. im sorry i failed you. im sorry i was so miserable that i turned to the only thing i had left and squeezed out every drop of joy i could. im sorry i didnt listen to you and get therapy sooner, but i promise that im better now. even though i promised myself i wouldnt tell you these things ever again. i said them to you enough that you had every opportunity to come back and try again. you have clearly made your choice.

im sorry that i will never have another morning holding you. seeing the curve of your shoulder. your neck. smelling your skin. im sorry that in the end you had to be the thing that kept me from a final solution. i'm sorry i even got that bad. and had i just listened...honestly it would have turned out the same. by the point i noticed you changed it was already too late. you made your choice.

i'm sorry i held on so long. the guilt of my failure was too much for me to bear at the time. i wanted to make it right. not win you back. you made your choice. and i never want to take that from you.

you left the state a week ago. i have my cat back, my fuzzy darling boy. i will never see you again. and i genuinely hope whoever your with now makes you happy. i wish you all the best. just please...never call me again. i cant take it...it hurts too much. please.

i have the honor to be respectfully yours,

Maven Rose