I know that this may be a common thing maybe
That people are losing all of their friends as soon as a breakup happens and then everything goes to shit. I myself am going through some tough moments over the last few months and even now. My Reddit account may be young but that’s only because I deleted my old account of 7 years because I had some issues and I plan to not stick around anymore for reasons I’ll get into in a bit.

The relationship: it started very cute and she was just the perfect girl and I’m very proud of everything that me and her were able to do. Something important to note is that she is a survivor of rape and she had gone through months of that. >!During her last relationship in high school she completely lost her sense of self and autonomy and contemplated suicide.!< And in our friendship before and our romantic relationship after that, we had issues because of her trauma. I was there for her and even changed her life and stood by her side and showed her patience and we BOTH were happy even if doing anything sexual was difficult. One thing that her ex would often do while they were together was that he’d compare her body to the women in porn and that left such a scar in her psyche, and that became a lot of pain in our relationship.
I’ll spare the details of the arguments but we were together for a whole year and then broke up 2 weeks after our anniversary because she found something she didn’t like. I lied to her about being clean and I kept it from her. My original plan was to be off it because I was quitting slowly (yes I know that’s stupid, you either quit porn or you don’t) I know I messed up BAD and I immediately started to get my act together and fix that addiction of mine and I own up to it completely. One of the things I did was to just delete all my access (and that’s why my old account was deleted, so I don’t plan on being active here because I’ve been clean for 4 months now)

Where it went bad

I admit that I took the break up horribly and it lead to many arguments and dumb mistakes between my friends and I. One thing that happened is that me and my ex girlfriend decided to stay in contact and be friends but that only made things more painful for the both of us because neither of us wanted to fully say goodbye as we both still had feelings for each other and she wanted to keep her distance all the same because she wanted to stand up for herself because of what I did was definitely wrong.

I was just so TUNNEL VISIONED on her still and not doing what we agreed on and that was to “focus on ourselves” but I admit that a lot of what I was doing wasn’t for myself and more so for her to “get her back”. And that was unfair for my best friends that introduced her to me because when we all went on a trip to LA with her, I didn’t pay much attention to anybody else but her and I wish I was smarter or decided to just NOT GO. Sure it was fun but getting a panic attack on the floor drunk in my bros dorm freaking everyone out was embarrassing and I just WISH that I knew what I know now… I would have been more at peace and happier if I was more… regulated… it (and other events) made my friends feel like I didn’t value their friendships and they felt used when I’d go to them for advice or just to clear my head. So one of them cut it off, she went up to me and told me that I had selfish tendencies and now she wants space.

We broke up in April and have gotten into no contact in August. My friend cut my out in mid July. UCLA trip was in early June.

Current day

My best man and boyfriend of my ex friend, hasn’t talked to me in almost a month, ghosted me. And just weeks before he ghosted me I took both of them out to Chilis to apologize to the both of them and showed them proof of me working truly on myself and putting in the work into learning emotional maturity and subtlety. It was a GREAT dinner and we all agreed that it became a high note and instead of being just “strangers” or enemies I’m now her “acquaintance”. I thought things were going great and even so did my mate. I showed him my gratitude and thanked him, he then told me that things are slow but he knows things are getting better.

Weeks go by and I text my friend to see how she’s doing and she says she just wants space because she just doesn’t want anymore stress in her life. Cool, I respect that and I’ll keep my distance. She says she still cares about me and wants things to be fun again eventually but not immediately. I’m happy for her genuinely. But her boyfriend just hasn’t been returning my calls and texts for weeks and I don’t know what’s going on and if wanted space too I would’ve given that to him if he told me :(
I texted her brother to see if anything is up but I know they went to a club today… I was just told that he was busy but nobody unemployed can be THAT busy unless they’re avoiding you on purpose for a reason.

Since I went no contact I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore. And I am fully alone and I truly have nobody… I miss the old days of going on double dates and making jokes. I just miss 2025 :(
And it got me thinking of some things:
When someone says,”I’ll always be there for you”, what does that mean? And when you do ask for that, how do you make them not feel used?

TLDR

My girlfriend broke up with me for my porn addiction and inability to take accountability properly and that lead to 4 months of pain and suffering for the friend group. Went no contact with my ex then lost a friend and then kinda got her back but now wants space. Now I’m being ghosted and lied to and now I’m completely alone and ranting into the void of a subreddit