Need advice: husband and family do not believe I am ill.

If someone can comment and advise, I would appreciate it. I am exhausted and on a work deadline. My husband and his family don't believe that I am sick or that my chronic fatigue or arthritis is real. My husband insists on having his family over for lunch in about 24 hours. The house is messy and dirty. I have offered alternatives, but they're rejected. I am finding it difficult to cope.

I've been diagnosed with chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, and arthritis for years. Recently, over the last 5 months, the flare-ups have been significant. Usually, I can manage. I have been married for almost ten years. Because I always make the effort, at great cost to myself, my husband and his family don't believe I am ill, even when I can barely walk.

About a week ago, some family members called to say they would like to see some jointly owned property. My husband told me they might be coming. Last night, they texted that they would be here tomorrow. The property is about 40 minutes away from our house. The brother, who is coming, wants to look at some heirlooms. When their dad died, each sibling took a share, and it was considered fair. The brother has hinted that he wants some additional items from my husband's share. My husband said he was welcome to them.

Here is the problem: After walking around the property tomorrow morning, the brother will probably come to our house to take some items, and my husband wants to offer them lunch. I do freelance work; I am in the middle of a flare-up and a work deadline due Monday. I have not been able to really clean for months. Everything is a mess. My husband occasionally loads the dishwasher and washes his clothes, but that is it. He only takes care of his own items. Right now, it physically hurts to unload the laundry and fold it. The kicker is that the wife and daughter are visibly judgemental. The wife asked me at a recent gathering if I had "phantom pain."

This morning, I told my husband that I can't physically attend the family walk-about, and I don't have time or energy to host them for lunch and clean. His brother can come another time to look at things. I suggested he take them to lunch somewhere near the property. He became upset and said it was his house, and he wanted to fix them sandwiches here while his brother sorts through things. I explained that I can't clean and was embarrassed about the state of the house. He countered that I knew they would come a week ago and did nothing about cleaning. I suspect he thinks shame will make me mop the kitchen floor and clean the house with a whirlwind of activity. Normally, it would. I don't have the energy or the time to feel shame. I am already exhausted.

I am thinking of texting or calling them and letting them know I can't make it. My husband said he will explain why I am not there and that I should not bother.

Can anyone relate? What would you do in my situation?

Synopsis: I am exhausted and on a work deadline. My husband and his family don't believe that I am sick or that the chronic fatigue or arthritis is real. My husband insists on having his family over for lunch in about 24 hours. I have offered alternatives, but they're rejected. I am finding it difficult to cope.