24F need advice.. i broke up with him, i cant stop crying

my bf 24M and i 24F dated more than an year. recently decided to breakup with him due to issues surrounding his past insecurities and him not trusting me even though i never ever gave him a reason to question me. for instance he questions me whenever i go out (he has the context and knowledge of my whereabouts, people i might meet, be it in office or when i m going alone), he picks up fights and says things like “youre ignoring me? kiske sath ho? ek stranger ke liye mera call ignore karoge??” - said this last when i met a senior office colleague of mine who randomly bumped into me. i had obviously texted him back “can i call you later” and he feels cheated in such situations idk how and here later he started desperately calling me non stop that i had to pick this call in front of that colleague and i said “i am with a colleague, karti hun call back give me 2 mins” and i cut the call. then he messaged ki “aisa kon hai jiska name bhi nahi bata skte mujhe” dude. how tf can someone say someones name in front of them on call, and to someone who doesnt have the context and knows the other person. these texts give me an ick. now imagine similar kind of behaviour in countless other situations. he always takes even normal / usual things as something against him. I tried making him understand that this is not done, what he did was nothing but him projecting zero trust and his insecurities on me, which is completely wrong. he understands and has said sorry countless times and we always moved on. i am a human but i cant pretend that his behaviour is okay. idk man it just felt so toxic and this decision of mine has been very thought through. He loves me so so much, he has been very gentle and kind, caring, never ever raised his voice (bare basic but yeah he was my first love and the only person i have/had who ever loved me)

i wish he actually executed his promise to always think before he questioned me.. but i have had multiple experiences which made me sure that this would continue for a life time. love aint sufficient. trust for me matters and i took the hard pill.

he also in a way threatened me that he will commit suicide, he’s having recurring panic attacks

i still love him

it pains me to see him like this

i cry every now and then, the guy i thought was the loml.. i pushed him away from me for my mental peace.. but he gave peace to my heart too.. everything in my room has a memory related to him

i dont know if i am in a mess

i love him so much, i fear and i feel i am gonna regret this so much

ik i say its a thought through decision but idk how do i move on, i love him so much