Are you mindful? If so, do you ever feel a general sense of dread after actually ”slighting” them?

I’m talking something like actually minimizing tjem. You know how over it is. You might be repulsed with yourself for doing it. It’s ”not you” and you definitely did not want to do it to them. Now you feel …?

What do you feel?

This just happened to me a few days ago and I’ve felt confused and utterly paralyzed for days now as I’ve tried to get to the bottom of what I feel. It’s like there’s a noise in the back of my mind that must be resolved but I can’t specify what it is. I know it can be tied to them, but I don’t know tied to what exactly.

I’ve meditated on it for an hour and the best I can do is that I feel like I actually slighted them. Beyond that, I don’t know why I’m paralyzed.

Do you know what I’m talking about? What is this feeling?