Growing apart due to different life stages and financial situations—how do we navigate this?

The Relationship Core: We've been together since we were 19 (my first relationship), and we are now stuck in a painful cycle of clashing expectations and fundamental life-stage differences.

My Current Situation (F21): I'm finishing my degree, turning 21, and starting an apprenticeship with my own money. I want to be a young couple that travels, goes on dates, and makes active memories (wanting to do weekend trips like Paris, Munich, or local events) instead of feeling like I have to walk on eggshells.

His Current Situation (M23): He is working full-time in a stressful, problematic job, managing a minijob to pay his rent, dealing with tighter finances, and coming home exhausted. He feels like his time, energy, and money are completely depleted.

The Logistical and Effort Divide: We constantly fight over effort—I feel like I am always the one traveling to him and dealing with the distance, whereas he views the 20min Train Ride to me (waiting 7 minutes) as major barriers. He has to take the public Transport as he doesnt have a license

Money and Priorities Conflict: When I suggest trips like Paris, he calls them a waste of money and accuses me of wanting to do "girls stuff" and dragging him along as a "pet." Meanwhile, I point out he spends money on video games, consoles, and tech, while he feels my expectations ignore his financial stress.

The Emotional Breakdown: I feel like there are more bad moments than good ones, that I constantly have to make myself "uncomplicated" and small to avoid arguments, and that we are growing apart. He feels like I don't respect how exhausting his routine is and that I pressure him when he just wants to chill and play video games.