I wanna go on T so I can get more masculine but I can't right now (╥﹏╥)

I hate homophobia and transphobia, I would be so happy if I look masculine, but I can't yet since my family is transphobic and homophobic and don't know I am trans. I recently found out about it, like maybe a few weeks ago or a month I honestly don't remember but my dysphoria is making me go insane. I wanna go on T so I can get more masculine but I can't right now cause yk homophobic family members suck. I'm 19 but honestly I can't really do what I want in the moment. I honestly can't wait until I move out. if I go on T, I might look like my dad. I dont wanna look like his ugly ass (╥﹏╥). Sorry if I sound harsh but he Is the most transphobic and homophobic one in my house and I might get kicked out or disowned if he finds out my identity. everyone in my family + my families friends say I look like my dad. Even my mom says I'm a carbon copy but honestly I don't see it. My partner says that they don't see the resemblance so I feel happy but also I wanna feel less dysphoric. How can I be more masc without the fear of my parents getting mad at me.