18+ mature question. Marriage help

This is pretty explicit so please if you are under 18 and/or immature, click off.

I have been married for 5 years, I have a child (Toddler Age). Marriage has been good, we are both happy and attracted to each other but lately ever since my wife gave birth 2+ years ago. She has been never wanting to get intimate. Like I could count the times we have gotten intimate on my hands. And honestly as a man, it has been very very stressful. It’s not like I am just asking straight up for it, I tried going about it in various ways, being romantic, taking her on trips, spoiling her but NOTHING WORKS. I watch the kid while she does her things like study, running errands, and typical wife/mom things. It’s not like I am away or distant from her. I’m not a deadbeat dad as my son loves me so much and she sees it and recognizes it. I genuinely don’t understand because she was never like this prior to giving birth. It has gotten to the point where she will promise me and then she will back out with an excuse “I’m tired” “I have to be up early” “I don’t what to shower and do ghusl” like it’s genuinely stressful to the point I might actually seek a divorce. Although we get married for love, let’s not act like fulfilling the sexual desires we humans naturally have isn’t vital in marriage. Earlier today she promised me and I stayed up until 1am waiting for her to finish up her “me time” which is her watching her shows, eating snacks, and talking on the phone with her family. Just for her to say “it’s really late”. I really don’t get it.

So my questions are

1. is this normal and healthy? Should I seek a sheikhs advice

2. for men, what would you do?

3. for women, what should I do?