How do I stop myself from isolating myself/shutdown during situations that upset me?

hello so there with me as I am currently transcribing as I find it easier to verbally express what I’m trying to say rather than just type it down. I will make sure to try my best to edit this so it’s easier to read as I go along.

for the longest time as early as I can remember when I was maybe four? I would find myself easily distressed or upset at certain situations, particularly situations that don’t- that aren’t quite upsetting. also have a record that I am undiagnosed so I am not sure if this taps into any form of Neurodivergence, but feel free to assume of such.

The earliest known example was that I was about four when my mom was having karaoke or dancing outside at home with her friends and I was crying about something, and instead of letting me join her or anything like that she just placed me in my room and then went back outside and continued dancing/singing. this is also happened a few times across the years of different family events where I would find myself distressed or uncomfortable with being in a room full of people for a certain amount of time and then would ask my mum if I could go into a room so that I could calm down or feel a bit better as if my energy‘s been depleted from being around a lot of people.

I’m 28 now, i’m so fine but whenever I’m upset about something and I am able to retreat into our room I’ll do it but when I find that I can’t I will just shut down and freeze into position until it feels “safe” for me to come back into the space and be able to calmly talk about why I suddenly felt a certain way. I find that it isn’t really a big deal for me when I do this, however my partner has noticed that it isn’t always the healthiest thing for me to do when it comes to for example, confronting something or navigating what I need which is something I still struggle to do.

I guess I’m speaking into the void here by asking if there is a way to get myself to stop doing this and learn how to confront things properly rather than shut myself out or shut down entirely.

thanks