Anyone’s parents like mine?

My mom loves nice stuff. She’ll spend tens of thousands of dollars on a shopping spree, but refused to pay for my therapy and even a $300 plane ticket because “you need to budget.” When I confronted her about it, she said, “At least I use my own money, not your money. I can do whatever I want with my own money.”

She also told me to stop expecting an allowance, stop relying on her for support, find a job, and basically stop expecting her to support my goals. She doesn’t support my studies either, but then goes and buys the newest Dior bag. I am so fucking tired.

I don’t think I can be a mom because I always yearn for the kind of selfless mother I wanted throughout high school. It got so bad that sometimes, I would sell her expensive clothes and belongings online for less than $100 just so I could have some allowance because she refused to give me enough.

I’m tired of feeling like I became her clone. Now I grew up to be selfish all my ex partners pointed that out and I acknowledge that. I don’t want to be like this. I want to change, but I feel like I can’t do anything because I’ve been in such close proximity to her for so long.

She even told me she doesn’t care if I go out of the country, live abroad, or go on trips for months, as long as I don’t ask her for money.

Please be honest is this financial abuse, or am I just an entitled kid? My late father was the complete opposite. He would have sacrificed anything to give me a good life. Even when his company went bankrupt, he still used his last penny to take our family on vacation.

So how did I go from having that realization to becoming someone better?