… it always circles back to.. you.

I think I saw your truck the other day. At a Walmart- I’m never at Walmart… but for some reason that day I was; because I found a new gluten free snack I’m obsessed with.. I hesitated when I saw it. I thought about turning around and parking close. To see if it was really you- but … I didn’t. I drove my heart right back into the pavement again and went to my home…
I think about you… a lot.
God, I fucking hope you don’t think about me. I was awful to you.
I’m sorry for that.
I finally grew the balls to wear the earrings you got me for our 4th year anniversary again since our breakup 2 years ago; they are so pretty… , …I miss things you used to say and do a lot… little things like how you called me gorgeous everytime you greeted me… You probably don’t feel that way anymore and that’s fine because I never felt that way until you said it, anyway. … - … my new partner doesn’t call me really anything- sometimes- but it dosent really feel genuine tbh… I hope it is but who am I to know.
He doesn’t really kiss me before bed… or before he leaves for work- sometimes… but not everytime like you did- awake or asleep. We used to talk and talk and talk- he and I don’t- really… I shouldn’t compare you two. You’re not the same person and ultimately we are where we are. … but- I think about us.. and you a lot … and what we used to be and sometimes I let myself drown a little in the idea of what could have been if things where different. My life literally died after us… you know?… and now nothing ever feels right…