independance and family how can i balance this two?

hello kind people of reddit,i am seeking life advice and i might hope you guys would have some,i am 20 years old and a medical student,i have decided to leave medicine in pursuit to find out what i want to do for rest of my life,i have always dreamed of becoming a doctor but it wasn't what i hoped so,during this 2026 my grandfather died and after few month later my mom was diagnosed with colorectal cancer but thankfully she is responding well to the treatment,all of this made me think about a lot of things,i want to leave medicine because it has huge amount of toll on your mind and body,a friend of mine is the prime example of this,i love him to death but with the amount of death and agony he has seen in the field of medicine made him into a bitter man and sometimes when i hang out with him that bitter energy affects me to,i think constant death and agony of other people on daily basis would turn me into my friend and i don't want that,in order to leave medicine i need to become more independent and work on myself but this requires a lot of time away from family but with the short amount of time left on this world i want to spend meaning ful moments with my dad;mom and my sister (plus my dad is 60),so what should i do?has anyone been in similar situation?