Is this how life is meant to go as a woman

To look for stuff to buy to look presentable do people appreciate your existence but in a visually pleasing way like is this how my life is meant to go as a female to be looking for and searching for tons of information on makeup body types clothes I am honestly not making any sense right now but I just wish to be at complete peace and not care about it and actually I wish people would understand why so they don't judge me for it like why do I have open tons of tabs about products that I can't afford and won't end up buying anyway why are all clothes only meant to look good on thin people without curves why must everything be cropped and sleeveless and backless and short I am the problem for not aligning with this I wish I was bald and could avoid going outside so I would not worry about clothes and makeup ever again but that's bad too I am not making any sense because I am falling asleep