I’m glad this illness took me out when I was at my youngest.

I have no sorrow nor lament for a life that could’ve been having far much closer now as to why I turned out the way I did and how this chronic pain started when I was only 5. There never was going to be a “normal life”. My father has a severe case of psoriasis and has had it before I was even conceived. And may have had lower back problems with it as well by then.

To me I feel it is far more tragic to have something like this happen in your 20s and even 30s because you lived your life for so long knowing what it was like to be normal, to feel normal and healthy. That is something I never experienced so I don’t lament on all those years when I was living a normal healthy life. I was going to have some health issues a long the way and in a messed up way I am glad said health issues claimed my life far earlier.

I guess that’s why it doesn’t hurt so bad both mentally and physically.