How do I tell my parents about the results of my recent psych eval? Or should I take it to the grave?

Hey Reddit (and hi Morgan if you see this! Big fan of the podcast ❤️). First time Reddit poster so I apologize if this is too long winded but there’s lots of context needed.

I (32f) recently got a psych eval for myself because I had always wondered if I was somewhere on the ASD spectrum. After about a decade of wondering and especially after my daughter (4f) was diagnosed around her 2nd birthday, I finally decided to get it done, if nothing else than for personal validation, and I also know there’s a genetic component to ASD.
I got the results the other day and they concluded I did not meet the criteria for ASD. I don’t really have feelings about this either way, I was just genuinely curious. What they did say is that 1: I have pretty severe untreated OCD. I was diagnosed with this a long time ago so this wasn’t a surprise to me and I’ll be talking to my therapist about more specific ways to target this in our sessions moving forward. The main thing that makes me want to write in about for advice is 2: CEN or childhood emotional neglect. The way it was explained to me (in a nutshell) is that the cause of my symptoms is more due to trauma than something like ASD.

Now for the context..
I’ve always felt different for as long as I can remember. I’ve always had difficulties making and keeping friends and have a lot of sensory issues. I’ve always felt like I’m on the outside looking in, and that everyone just tolerates my existence essentially. I’ve never really felt like I belong.
My mom (66f) and dad (66m) gave us (me and my two older sisters, 34f and 37f) everything. Our Christmases were extravagant, filling the room with presents. We went on vacations every year. We each had education funds that paid for college so we didn’t have student loans. I fully acknowledge the extreme privilege I grew up with in this way. That’s part of what makes this so difficult, as I feel my trauma is not valid and I should just be grateful for the life and opportunities I was given (which I definitely am). Our parents also impressed on us the importance of being independent. I started babysitting at 13 and have never been without a job since then.

I also don’t have memories of being hugged or kissed. I don’t have memories of having a safe shoulder to cry on and someone to confide in or simply motherly love, unless I was doing what my mom wanted me to do. I do have memories of the spanking, washing mouths out with soap, punching me in the head when I talked to a boy she didn’t like, and screaming daily between her and my middle sister when we were in high school. I have memories of hiding in my room to avoid the arguments. Expectations were always so high and it’s only within the last 5-10 years that I was able to accept that I will never meet them. If I got an A, it was “why wasn’t it an A+”. It was constant criticism and constant judgement. My mom couldn’t do wrong and we were expected to respect our elders no matter what.
My dad was basically a stay at home dad and was always more lenient, more caring. I do have pleasant memories with him, though he has his own issues. With my mom it’s about control and obedience. Even now she gives “suggestions” and if I don’t take them she feels personally offended because obviously she knows best always. I have been better about setting boundaries, especially since having kids. I refuse to give my kids anything less than an emotionally available, stable and loving parent.

I haven’t talked to my parents in over a month now. I usually talk to at least my dad a couple times a month if not more (we live about an hour and a half away). The last time I talked to them was when I told them about getting an eval for myself. They blew up on me and made me feel crazy. They’ve never really understood or cared much about mental health so I figured they wouldn’t really understand, but I didn’t expect that bad of a reaction from them. They’re going through a lot at the moment so I don’t want to put this on them and I know if I told them the results of my eval it would NOT go over well. I also don’t want to continue having this kind of relationship with them. I miss being able to include them in my life, even if I have to set boundaries for my and my kids sake. I don’t want to hold onto resentment. I just don’t know if i even should tell them at all. I want to get past this, but that would mean them taking accountability which I don’t know if that’s even possible. I genuinely don’t know if my mom especially is capable of self reflection and change. I talked to my therapist about possibly bringing my mom in for a session to discuss these things, but I don’t know if it’s even worth it. I feel separated from my whole family right now. I have my two kids and my fiancé who are my whole world, but it still hurts to not have my parents and sisters to lean on or just to talk to right now.

So.. how do I tell my parents about the results of my eval? Or should I cut my losses and take it to the grave