Chat im so in love w someone its not even funny atp

I swear if theres something i hate is how madly in love i go for him, who is in the weird spot of "not necessarily friends but nice w each other and also used to be friends and one of em (me, 13m) confessed and thats how the friendship ended for a while, they kinda talked a while after but not rly" and im so jealous of ppl who are friends w him-

like he already knows how i act around ppl i like so uh

HOW DO I ACT OR WHAT BC HE SITS BEHIND ME IN CLASS-

hes also like my BIGGEST gender envy so uh

WHAT DO I DO-

and what pmo is that middle school relationships dont rly last but uh???? hello???? idk what to do someone plz help me