Caregivers for spouses who can no longer have sex.

I have a question to the caregivers that are caring for a spouse. How do you manage the lack of sex and intimacy?

I’ve been with my wife since 1993, and both of us have been extremely dedicated to each other. I’ve never cheated, I know she hasn’t either. We’re not perfect, but we worked. 

She was diagnosed with MS in 2003, and the last ten years have been a steady decline. She’s now completely bedridden, she’s incontinent, she’s lost all bowel control. She has all of her faculties, some memory issues but physically I do everything for her.

We haven’t had sex in 10 years, and I’ve been faithful the whole way. I haven’t cheated, but I’m really feeling lonely, and the lack of intimacy has left me feeling so helplessly alone and lost.

We’re more like caregiver/patient now. We can’t sleep in the same bed, we can’t sit beside each other, I’m so lonely, isolated, hurt, depressed. 

How do you guys handle that? I’m having such a hard time feeling the emptiness all the time.