I'm a M 20 Have a crsuh on a F 20. I don't know what to do. I need help and advice.

Hi Reddit! English isn't my first language, so please bear with my grammar and sentence structure. This is also going to be a long story because a lot has already happened.

I'm currently in college, and I have a crush on one of my classmates, F21.

First, I'll talk about myself. I've never had a girlfriend in my life, so you could say I'm inexperienced when it comes to dating and talking to women. I've tried approaching three previous crushes before, but none of them worked out. I'm shy and usually don't know what to do, so I ended up getting ghosted. Because of that, whenever I have a crush on someone, I usually try not to approach them because I feel like I'm not capable and will just choke at the start.

I can talk to other girls normally, but if I have feelings for someone, I become shy and afraid to approach them.

Now, with my current crush, she's pretty, funny, and I really like her personality. We've been classmates since our 2nd year of college, and we're classmates again now that we're in our 3rd year. At first, it was just admiration, not a deep crush. A better way to describe it would be a "happy crush."

We've been classmates for more than a year, so here's some backstory.

We have our own circles of friends in our class (me with the guys and her with the girls). Because of that, plus the fact that I'm shy about talking to her, we haven't had many conversations.

It took me until the end of our 2nd year to finally follow her on Instagram because I knew that, to her, I was probably just a classmate. She followed me back, though.

I was too shy to talk to her directly, so I tried to get noticed through Instagram Notes. I would put songs on my Notes that were about her just to get her attention. If she didn't notice, that's okay, but one time our Notes seemed to connect.

I don't know if it was because I was assuming things or if she actually noticed my Notes and responded with another song, but we started exchanging music Notes every day. This continued for days and eventually weeks. Sometimes we'd change our Notes twice a day, and it honestly felt like we were having a conversation through music.

Then, one day during summer break, I finally tried to DM her. I asked if the Notes were about me. She said they weren't and that she just likes putting music on her Notes.

And then I choked once again.

Since I was already talking to her and felt pressured to keep the conversation going, I confessed. I said, "I thought our Notes were about each other," and then told her that I had a crush on her.

Looking back, I honestly think, "WTF was I doing?"

She told me that she had just broken up with her recent boyfriend and that it was still fresh for her, so she wasn't planning on entertaining anyone at the moment.

To conclude the conversation, I asked her if she could just reject me because I was already embarrassed by what I had done. I also wanted reassurance that I could stop having a crush on her and move on before seeing her again at school.

But she said she wouldn't reject my confession because she didn't have the right to tell me what I should feel. She also told me that I didn't have to worry about things being awkward between us when we went back to school.

So we just continued with our lives.

Fast-forward to before the start of the new school year, and the Instagram Notes thing started happening again like, really happening again.

We would change our Notes in response to each other. For example, if I put up a new music Note, she would put up a new one a few minutes later. If I changed mine a few hours later, she would change hers too. It felt like we were having another conversation through music.

There were even days when we changed our Notes two or three times.

I also want to mention that this time, her Instagram Notes were shared with her Close Friends list. The only people who could see them were people she had chosen to put on that list, and I was one of them.

However, I don't want to assume anything anymore because of what happened before, so I just let the Notes continue. I didn't DM her or talk to her about them.

Then one day, she posted "To Know Her Is to Love Her" by The Beatles. To me, it felt like it could be a hint that if I wanted to talk to her, I should make the first move, get to know her, and see where things go.

She's also used that song on multiple different days, which made me wonder if she was trying to give me a clue to finally talk to her.

But being inexperienced and shy, I kept avoiding doing anything.

Now I'm starting to feel like some of her Notes might be saying that she's getting tired of waiting for the person she's indicating to finally make a move.

At the same time, I know that a lot of this could simply be me interpreting things because I already have feelings for her. I don't want to repeat what happened before by convincing myself that her Notes mean something when they don't.

So this is where I'm stuck.

I can't really find many opportunities to talk to her in person because we have separate circles of friends. I could DM her, but I'm worried I'll bore her because I'm inexperienced and don't really know how to keep a conversation going.

I'm also worried about making things awkward since we're still going to be classmates. At the same time, I don't want my lack of confidence to stop me from getting to know her if there is actually an opportunity here.

There's also one other thing that's been holding me back. I'm still a college student and my allowance comes from my parents. I don't feel comfortable courting someone using money that my parents give me, especially when it comes to dates. I'd rather use money that I earned myself, but I haven't been able to find a job that works with my school schedule.

I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation, especially given that I've already confessed to her once.

For those of you with more dating experience, I'd appreciate some advice on how to start talking to someone you like when you don't have many natural opportunities to interact with them.

I'd also like some perspective on the Instagram Notes situation. I know that music Notes are extremely ambiguous, and I don't want to interpret every song she posts as a secret message. At the same time, the repeated exchanges, the fact that I'm on her Close Friends list, and her repeatedly posting "To Know Her Is to Love Her" have made me wonder how other people would interpret the situation.

If you were in my position, what would a respectful first step look like? I'm especially interested in ways of starting a normal conversation without immediately making it another confession or putting pressure on her.

I know that ultimately the only way to find out what she actually thinks is through direct communication. My biggest problem is getting past the fear and knowing how to approach the situation without overthinking every little thing.