Maybe I’m a failure right now, but I don’t think this is where my ACCA story ends

I’m doing ACCA alongside my B.Com, and honestly, my journey has been a mess.

I’ve failed papers, walked into exams knowing I was underprepared, wasted weeks procrastinating, and then hated myself for it when the exam got close.

The worst part is I can’t even say I always gave everything and still failed.

A lot of the time, I know I could’ve done more.

I missed FR by 3 marks, and that one hurt badly because your brain immediately starts thinking about every day you wasted.

What if I had practised one more question?

What if I started earlier?

What if I didn’t waste that week?

And watching other people clear papers while I’m still struggling sometimes makes me question whether I’m actually capable of finishing ACCA.

I’ve blamed circumstances before, and some of them were real, but I’m also starting to accept that a lot of this comes down to me.

My decisions.

My discipline.

My consistency.

Nobody forced me to procrastinate. Nobody forced me to go into exams underprepared.

That part is mine.

I’m not posting this because I’ve suddenly changed my life or because this is some comeback story.

It isn’t.

I could fail again.

I could mess up another study plan.

I genuinely don’t know how long ACCA will take me.

But I know I’m not quitting.

Most people tell their story after they succeed.

I wanted to post mine while I’m still in the ugly middle, when I genuinely don’t know how it ends.

Right now, maybe I am a failure.

At least on paper, my results don’t exactly tell a success story.But failing and being finished aren’t the same thing.

Maybe a few years from now I’ll come back to this post with “ACCA” after my name and laugh at how convinced I was that I wasn’t good enough.

Or maybe it’ll take much longer than I expect.

I don’t know.

I just know I don’t want this version of me to be the final version.

And if you’re also failing papers, behind schedule, ashamed of your attempts, or feeling like everyone is moving ahead except you—

you’re not the only one.

I’m literally in it right now.

Maybe I’m a failure right now, but I’m not ready to call this the ending.