Decentering Your Parents

I’ve realized my mom is a loser. I know that sounds harsh, but she’s the kind of woman who wanted to go back to school, but instead of sitting down and doing her schoolwork, she had me complete it for her. I got my nose pierced and she said I was ruining her reputation because, as a single mother, everyone would think she failed at raising me because of a nose piercing. I could wake up late and she’ll say something like, “Is this how you will be when you get married?”

To be honest, I don’t really think my mom sees me as an individual person. I think she sees me as an extension of herself, so she projects all these goals onto me, like “becoming a doctor.” Speaking of doctors, we need to talk about the immigrant obsession with healthcare.

I’ve realized that you genuinely have to decenter your parents and see them as people and not just your parents. You have to realize that they’re flawed people too and that you don’t have to follow all the expectations they put on you. Like no, I don’t have to become a doctor. No, I don’t have to get married. No, I don’t have to have kids. I don’t have to live the life my parents want me to live just because they’re my parents.