How I Helped My Smokin' Hot Alien Girlfriend Conquer the Empire 3-55: Duplicitous Double Crossing Bastards
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Author’s Note: I am well aware that the spice isn’t sandworm shit and is part of their lifecycle. It’s still funnier to call it sandworm shit.
“William, I don't want to interrupt this moment where both of us are patting ourselves on the back about the good job we're doing raising the child.”
“Far be it for me to want to interrupt you in the middle of patting yourself on the back,” I said. “God knows you don't get a chance to do that nearly often enough.”
Arvie stared at me. It was a flat stare. I probably deserved that stare.
“Okay, fine,” I said. “What is it?”
“It would appear that mining ships are launching from the mining facility.
“Are they going for some of our scrap we blew up fair and square?” I asked.
“Negative,” Arvie said, pulling up the display so I could have a look at it.
I let out a low whistle. “Those traitorous sons of bitches.”
“I don't know that they would be traitorous,” Arvie said. “They don't have any allegiance to Varis or to House to t’Thal, so there is nobody for them to betray.”
“Okay, so they're being duplicitous double-crossing bastards, if we want to be precise with our language.”
“It's always good to be precise with one's language,” Arvie said. “And I agree with you. They are being duplicitous, double-crossing bastards.”
“Can the kid see any of this?” I asked.
“Not yet,” Arvie said. “But they will come within local sensor range of the salvage ship soon enough.”
“So they’ll be able to get down here in atmosphere even though they’re in those mining bees?”
“Their ships have limited range, but the moon is unfortunately in a position where it is closer to us than it is to the derelict floating above the gas giant. I imagine the only reason they're trying this is because their orbit has brought them into a favorable position where they can try to get whatever is in that escape pod. And yes. Their mining ships are capable of operating in the upper reaches of the atmosphere.”
“And I bet they have a lot of fun stuff on mining ships that’d be great at grabbing that thing out from under us,” I said, looking at the projections for how long it would take the mining craft to get down here.
They really were being duplicitous double-crossing bastards. I double-checked the position of the moon the mining facility was on. Sure enough, it was currently floating past us, which made sense. This whole battle had taken place close to the facility since that's what the alien bastards were raiding, and it had continued on its orbit.
“I didn't think they were going to pull something like this after we saved their asses,” I said, slamming my fist against the nothing in front of me. It felt like there was something, but it was just open space in a simulation.
“It would appear they don't care that you saved them,” Arvie said. “Or perhaps they think you won't actually bother to attack them because they're currently under the protection of House Alarth.”
Yeah, well, they're going to learn that one the hard way,” I muttered. “What do we have in the hopper that I can bring out here?”
“Excuse me, William?”
“The kid needs to continue on her mission. I don't want her distracted by fighting in atmosphere on a gas giant. That's the kind of thing that requires a little more piloting skill.”
“The child does seem to have a natural ability for that sort of thing.”
“Yeah, but I don't want to distract her. So what do we have on the carrier that's big, heavily armored with lots of shields, and plenty of weapons that I can use to take on a swarm of mining bees?”
“It's a pity we don't have another modified pleasure yacht like one you were using over Imperial Seat,” Arvie said.
“Yeah, and if wishes were fishes, we'd all cast nets,” I said, quoting a staple I'd read in an ancient sci-fi classic that...
“I believe I have something for you,” Arvie said. “We don't typically take it out for a spin, but…”
He pulled up a ship schematic from the carrier inventory, and I let out a low whistle.
“This thing doesn't look like a fighter craft,” I said. “It looks more like something between a corvette and a frigate.”
“That's exactly what it is,” Arvie said. “We have several of these on the carrier meant for undergoing light missions that require going farther than it would normally take if somebody was in a fighter craft with a single engine and a single cockpit. I'm sure you're well aware how uncomfortable it can get undertaking a mission in a fighter craft.”
I thought about a few times when I'd been on long-range scouting missions that had gone on for what felt like forever. The only thing I had to eat were rations, and I'd had to be very careful about aiming at the reclamation funnel if I wanted to have enough to drink for the duration of the mission, if you catch my meaning.
Which was another bit of technology that felt like a throwback to that aforementioned bit of science fiction I mentioned, minus the drugs that allowed people to travel between the stars. We'd ended up figuring that out just by using good old-fashioned technology rather than worm shit.
“How quickly could I get one of those bad boys down here?” I asked.
“I imagine you could do it fairly quickly,” Arvie said. “You’re not trying to maneuver around the wreckage, so you could punch it.”
“Right, and do you think I'll be able to split my consciousness between a ship that large and what keeping an eye on what Sera is doing?”
“I imagine you will,” Arvie said.” You've certainly gained enough capacity with the bandwidth from the chip in the back of your brain to be able to operate something like that. The limiting factor is still your cognitive capacity to split your attention rather than the chip’s bandwidth, but you’re coming along nicely.”
“Good,” I said, in the simulation before turning my attention to Sera in the cockpit. “Stay on target. I want your eyes ahead. I want you focusing on only that escape pod in front of us. Got it?"
"Got it," she said, looking up at me and hitting me with a smile that seemed a little hesitant, but I had no doubt she’d be able to do it.”
"This is a time for you to fly on instinct, kid. I want you getting in there, and I want you to keep an eye on the target and nothing else. No fancy flight computer. Just you, the stick, the ship around you, and the target. Get in there and let Harath do his job."
There was a beeping from behind. I turned to look at Bronhel who’d pulled up a backup tactical station on her display. She looked at me and arched an eyebrow. Clearly the mining ships had gotten within detection range.
I subtly shook my head from side to side. She hesitated for only a moment, and then she nodded. Clearly she wanted the kid to get this as much as I did.
It was a race and Sera didn't know it. Maybe her not knowing would help her win that race. At the very least, she didn't need the distraction of knowing a bunch of assholes in mining bees were coming for us.
And it looked to be a pretty healthy swarm. Clearly they'd made the calculation that they’d be able to distract one salvage ship long enough to get an escape pod versus going up against the entirety of our carrier fleet to get some scrap from the ships we blew up. Maybe they thought they could do a smash and grab, get the escape pod, and then get back to the moon where we wouldn't dare attack them because we wanted to make nice with the locals.
We were all one big happy Ascendancy here. Which was a stupid thing for them to assume considering how often livisk fought each another. But whatever, that was their mistake. They just didn't know it yet.
I intended to go back and let them know exactly what a huge mistake it was as soon as I had the bandwidth to deal with it.
The ship got immediate clearings back on the carrier. The relay was close enough that I didn't have any problem connecting to the systems. They were all ready to go. Apparently Arvie had taken the liberty of going ahead and making sure they were all ready to go under automation. So it essentially turned the thing into a large drone.
I didn't even settle into a representation of the CIC this time around. I felt confident enough in controlling most of the systems. It took a little bit of exploration to figure out exactly where I needed to put my thoughts to get everything to work just so, but it didn't take nearly as much effort this time around as it did the first few times I tried to use a tiny drone down in the Undercity, or the first time I tried to fly a fighter craft just using my thoughts.
The point was, I really was getting better at this. Arvie was right. And it felt pretty good as I eased out of the hangar.
I could see livisk in the hangar looking up at the thing. Some of them raised their fists in an obvious cheer of encouragement. Others simply looked on with an unreadable expression.
I had some fans on the carrier, but I was under no illusion that everybody loved me just because I was the General Consort. Maybe I'd won a battle for them, but I was still unproven as far as a lot of them in the fleet were concerned.
It didn't help that the interstellar fleet was a thing where Varis had mostly been putting nepo babies she didn't want to have to deal with, because why would she bother having much of an interstellar fleet when she went on the raids every time it was time to go out to the stars?
She was expected to maintain a fleet she could give to the empress in the event it was called up, but at the same time she was never expected to actually use that fleet outside of the systems she controlled. Definitely not on the home world.
Clearly this was something we'd neglected that I needed to bring back on track, but there were so many goddamn things I had to keep track of. One more thing to juggle.
I activated the engines and took off at a breakneck pace, but it was easy enough for me to control it. I'd slowed everything down in the simulation so I could keep an eye on what was going on while at the same time keeping an eye on what Sera was doing.
She was doing well. She was zeroing in. There was a little alarm indicator over in the bottom left she hadn't noticed, but it disappeared almost as soon as it flashed.
I could tell from the salvage ship’s system reports that Bronhel turned the warning light off. Which was sort of unfair. I didn’t want Sera to see that light and get distracted, but I was also going to have to have a chat with the kid about the missed alarm indicator. Even though I was relieved she missed it.
Nobody ever said training had to be fair. Especially when we were talking about somebody flying around in combat situations. People died when they weren’t paying attention, so you bet your ass I was going to make sure she knew she’d fucked up. It didn’t matter that it was a fuck up we’d organized. Trainers organizing fuck ups for a trainee to get out of was part of the territory.
I followed my new toy as I dove into the gas giant's atmosphere. I didn't bother with anything fancy. I just went straight in. The shields were more than enough to handle the beating the atmosphere gave me. It was even thinner up here than it was on a terrestrial planet, but the higher gravity and me gunning the engines meant it came out as a wash in terms of heat generated.
Either way, the shields were designed to stand up against combat conditions, so they were able to handle atmospheric entry fairly easily. I could feel a little bit of buffeting because I went ahead and let myself feel it even though I wasn't actually on the frigate. Then I was through, though things were still a touch rough.
I dove into some clouds and gunned it.
Posted Sep 14, 2026, 4:10 PM UTC