What to do about pastor infidelity?
Throwaway account here. So what happened is my pastor cheated and ruined 2 marriages. What was worse was that it happened with a congregant 15+ years younger. There was a local denomination investigation. The pastor refused to step down and is now in a relationship with the congregant. (Is this normal?) It bothered me at the time, but I tried to look past it as I thought they were still a good pastor, though I didn't agree with their life choices. But it really bothers me now, as it was an abuse of power. We lost several members at the time. I feel the pastor seems to struggle with boundaries, and gets overly close with some people, refusing to acknowledge serious concerns from members because they are best friends with abusers. Other people still seem to enjoy going, but a lot have left, and I'm wondering if the best thing to do would be to create change and speak up or to just leave and let others be in the toxic environment, that's their problem. At this point, I don't care about losing community anymore, I just feel done. I'm going to take some time away from the church for awhile, keep going to therapy, etc, and try to heal. I'm not interested in another church right now, though I have some I can try if/when I'm ready. I guess I'm just wanting some wisdom or advice or care, and hoping not all churches are like mine.
Posted Sep 14, 2026, 7:53 PM UTC