Short story long (need advice)

We’ll name him Wonder Boy.
We met in January, my supervisor wanted me to train him. It was 1000% rage baiting from the start. Not from me, from him. I would mind my own business and he would say something that would annoy me. He was never disrespectful or offensive, but he did seem to love to make me mad, so I started saying I didn’t like him. A couple weeks later, I was talking to a friend about how when it comes to dating, some men seem nice but they’re actually trash, and some men seem like trash but are actually nice. When I said that second part, Wonder Boy appeared out of nowhere and said “Yeah! Like me! You think I’m horrible but I’m actually a nice guy” I said “Nobody is talking to you, what are you even doing here?” He said he didn’t understand why I kept saying I didn’t like him and that if I thought about it, we were kind of like Ron and Hermione. I said there was no way in hell, if anything I’m a little like Hermione (inquisitive, bookworm), but he was nothing like Ron. He spent the next two minutes trying to prove we were just like them, so I told him that he made my blood boil, he smiled and asked if it was in a good way and I said no. Then I said sometimes I couldn’t stand him. At that point, his smile melted, said he wouldn’t bother me anymore, and walked away. I felt really bad after that. Later in the day I asked him for help to clean a room and while in there I apologized to him and explained I didn’t want that to sound so mean, that even though he was annoying, I didn’t think he was a bad guy. He accepted my apology and we resumed talking and joking as if nothing had happened. A few minutes later I told him “By the way… a while ago you mentioned Ron and Hermione, do you like Harry Potter?”
He said he did.
Then I said “Before I get excited, have you only seen the movies or have you read the books?”
He said “Both, multiple times”
and then I said “Forget everything I just told you. I love you. I love you and we’re getting married”.
He laughed and said “Woah! Without even going on our first date?”
I said “Yeah, that’s how marriages used to work years ago. Go pick your engagement ring, I’ll pay for it”
He replied “That’s crazy” while giving me a toothpaste commercial smile.
We kept joking about that for a few more minutes and then he got all serious and said “No but really, all jokes aside, if you ever decide you do like me, I want it to be for me, for my personality, not for a shared interest”.

I chose the nickname Wonder Boy a few days later. You see, he’s pretty tall and buff and has blue eyes, so I thought it fit. I was taking care of a patient and one of the nurses comes in. He told me I was free to go and get breakfast because him and Wonder Boy needed to reposition the patient in bed and give him a lot of medications. I knew that Wonder Boy had an injured arm, so I offered to help reposition the patient and then go get breakfast. The nurse told me he would be alright, and Wonder Boy said “Yeah! I’m stronger than I looked” and he flexed his arm in front of me (holy bicep). After that I said “Oh okay, I’m sorry for underestimating you, Wonder Boy”. He smiled and said thank you, and then I left.
My patient got sent home a few hours after that. So I was sitting at the nurses station reading a book, waiting for someone to need me. He sat right next to me, and since it was a slow day he leaned on his chair and said he was going to take a nap. I took my jacket and threw it on top of him as a blanket. After a few minutes he opened his eyes and asked what size it was. I replied it was a size small, and he grabbed it and tried to put it on. It was ridiculously small, he even asked for help to take it off. I asked where his jacket was and he gave it to me, and since it was a size large, it fit ridiculously huge, even though I was fully stretching my arms, you still couldn’t see my fingertips. He started joking about our size difference and told me that one of his fingers equaled two of mine, so he made us compare hands to prove his point. An hour after that, I said I had to go take my patient’s blood sugar. When I stood up, he said something that annoyed me and in response I stepped on his foot, hard. He crossed his arms and asked if that was supposed to hurt. I said it was and stomped on his foot even harder. He didn’t even flinch. I tried using both of my feet. Nothing. Then I tried stepping on him one more time using all of my weight, but he managed to lift his foot of the ground and therefore lifted me! I was so shocked. I asked him to do it again and he smiled and did it again. I walked away. I looked back at him and realized he was already staring at me.

A few days after that I was saying hi to a friend at a nurses station. My friend said that had been the third time I’d seen him that day and said hi. I said that every time I saw him I would get excited, and every time I saw him I would say hi, then I made a heart with my hands. My friend returned the gesture. Wonder Boy was sitting in front of me and said in a really low voice “That’s cute”. I pretended I didn’t hear him and asked him what was that. He smiled and said “Nothing”.

In early February I was talking to another friend at a nurses station about tattoos. She asked me why I didn’t have any, and I replied that it’s because I’m terrified of needles. She was trying to convince me to get a tattoo when Wonder Boy joined the conversation, and then it was two against one. By the way, Wonder Boy is covered in tattoos. How do I know? Because he showed me. Did I ask him to? No, he just did.
He said that a tattoo felt like getting an IV, and I said I had never gotten an IV inserted in me before, so he said later that day we would practice together. At 4:30 I was hoping he had forgotten, but then he showed up and told me it was time, so we gathered our materials and went to a little room away from the nurses station. We were sitting very close to each other. I was really nervous, but I wasn’t too sure why. He told me that if it made me feel better, I could insert an IV on him first. Right before I started he said that he had a confession to make and that he was actually terrified of needles too. Like I said, he’s covered in tattoos, so I didn’t believe him. He tried to convince me about his lie for a solid two minutes, and then he finally admitted it was not true, that he had only said it to make me feel better. I tried to insert an IV in his hand but I was so nervous that I missed. He obviously made fun of me for that. Then it was his turn. I looked away. Surprisingly, he did pretty good. But when he removed the IV and wrapped my arm with a bandage, the bandage came undone and flew away. We both burst into laughter. We started talking about other things and at some point I mentioned Taylor Swift. He said he liked some of her songs. I jokingly said that I loved him. He said “Woah! First you say you love me because I like Harry Potter and then you say you like me because I like Taylor Swift?” I said “Dude, I was kidding! You wish that I actually loved you” In a low voice, he said “Yeah, a little”. Once again I asked him what was that, and once again he said “Nothing”.

A week later I was training him and we were sitting next to each other at the nurses station. He asked me if I had brought my word search book and I said I did, that it was in my bag. He asked me if I wanted to solve a word search problem with him and I said sure, so I went to go get it. We spent the next hour or so doing word searches and joking around with each other. At some point he was being really annoying, so I asked him if he could give me just five minutes of peace. He took out his watch and set a five minute timer. I asked if he had seriously done that and if I could ask for more time. He advised me to stop talking because my time was running, and after the timer went off he would start annoying me again. A while after that I went to lunch and asked him to take cafe of my book. When I returned half an hour later, he greeted me by saying he had finished a word search problem all by himself, and that he had signed it so I knew who had done it. I opened the book expecting to see a signature, or his name, or his initials, but instead, I saw he drew the lightning bolt symbol from Disney’s Hercules, the movie from which I got his nickname.
That same day we went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication. When we were in the elevator I jokingly said I could read minds and he said “Oh yeah? You can read minds? Then tell me. How do I feel about you?” I said “Well… you think I’m a good coworker? Someone responsible?”
He smiled and said “Yeah… you really can’t read minds”
A few minutes after joking around, I said I felt really bad for whoever married him. Since he was a low, monotone voice, it sounds like he’s being sarcastic even when he’s not. I made a joke about his beautiful future wife gliding towards him on his wedding day, and him saying “I do” in a very bored voice. He laughed and said that was crazy, that I had no idea how he acted when he was in a relationship.
He also said “You said my future wife is beautiful, right? Well, define beautiful”
I said “I don’t know, whatever your type is”
He said “Earlier you said you can read minds. Tell me what my type is”
I said “Umm white? Blonde? Blue eyes? Like you?”
He laughed and once again said “You seriously cannot read minds”.

That was one of our last infractions together. A few days after that he went to work somewhere else, and when he returned we weren’t spending that much time together because I wasn’t training him anymore. At the end of May he approached me one day in the morning saying he had been looking for me the day before because he wanted to give me something. He said he had brought brownies for me because he knew I liked baking and wanted to know what I thought. I jokingly said I didn’t know he could turn an oven on, much less bake. He said he had made those brownies at his girlfriend’s place. I gave him the fakest of my smiles and told him I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. He said they had met while line dancing and started dating a few weeks ago. I said I was happy for him, and then I left.
The funny thing is that at some point in February, he started joking about me liking him every time he had a chance. He would say things like “I know you like me, I know you have a crush on me” but I always denied it. Lucky bitch.

After that I spent the next month trying to act as normally as I could. Then, in the beginning of July, I ended up in the hospital for mental health reasons. A few days after I got discharged, I went back to work just to sign some paperwork, and he was sitting at the nurses station. When he saw me he asked me if I was okay. I said I was okay, and he asked me if I was sure, because he hadn’t seen me in a whole week. I said I had been dealing with some stuff and he replied he was glad to see me and glad I was doing okay. It felt really good to notice he had been worried about me, but I knew he still had a girlfriend. I didn’t see him for a whole month after that. And then, one night in mid-August, I received a text from him at 1am. He basically said he needed to ask me something, and because it was important, it had to be in person. I reminded him it was 1am and asked him if the question could wait until the next day. He said it could wait and apologized for bothering me so late. I said it was no problem, but the next day was Sunday and I would go to church in the morning, so if he wanted to talk to me it would be in the afternoon. He agreed and asked me to let him know when would be a good time, then he said he hoped I had a nice time at church and wished me good night.
The next morning he texted me again to apologize. I told him not to worry and asked him if he still wanted to talk. He said he did and asked me to let him know when I was on my way, since his roommate wouldn’t be there. I asked him if we could talk somewhere else and at that point the question he wanted to ask me was suddenly not important. I told him that if it was something private we could find a place where we wouldn’t be heard. He said again it didn’t matter, and then magically forgot what the question was.
The reason why I didn’t want to go to his room that night was precisely because I thought he had a girlfriend. If I had known he was single, and maybe if he hadn’t been drunk, maybe I would’ve gone to his room that night. I know this sounds like a booty call, and I know that drunk people sometimes say stuff they don’t mean, but part of me wanted (and still wants) that clarification. Maybe he would’ve had the courage to tell me if he wanted a relationship or simply to have sex. Either way I would know where I’m standing, and I could decide for myself instead of being tricked into something I don’t fully want. I still regret not going.

A week after that, I was having a conversation with another friend about my terrible sexual experiences. He said that most men suck at sex and assured me it was not my fault. Then he also said he didn’t suck. I told him he reminded me of Wonder Boy with his attitude of “I know most men suck, but not me” so I took a screenshot of the conversation and sent it to him. Wonder Boy replied instantly. He said that although most men do suck at sex, he did not fall victim to that statement. I mocked him and said “We get it, you’re perfect”. He replied “Never said I was perfect, just said I’m good at that. You wouldn’t know” I said I refused to believe that without proof. He asked me if I wanted some. I said maybe I did. He asked me to come to his room so we could talk more. I said “Damn at least take me on a date first”. He said “I meant to actually talk. I didn’t mean to do everything right now. I just wanted to have a legit conversation, that’s all I meant”. Since I was freaking out and unsure what to say, I took a few minutes to respond, so he sent another text saying “We don’t have to. You’re just leaving me on read”. I asked him what he wanted to talk about and he replied that he wanted to know my intentions and that he couldn’t tell if I was being serious over text. I asked him to meet somewhere else expecting another refusal, but this time he did agree. I gave him a place and a time and he showed up not even a second late. When I saw him, I said “What the hell, Wonder Boy?” He replied he was about to ask me the same thing, because I’m the one who started that whole conversation. I said he had continued it, and then we spent the next couple minutes going back and forth about
“You started it!”
“But you kept going, you didn’t stop me”
I broke the loop by saying “Honestly, I thought you were going to stop me by saying you had a girlfriend” and he said “Why would I say that? I don’t have a girlfriend anymore” then I asked what happened, because he looked so happy. I even made fun of the day when he told me he had a girlfriend by repeating his words in a flirtatious tone while twirling my hair. He laughed and asked “Really? I said it like that?” I said “That’s how I heard it” (because I was jealous, but he didn’t need to know that part). I asked him why they broke up and he told me he broke up with her because he realized he didn’t want to be with her anymore. I asked him why, if it had been something she did, but he just repeated his words “I didn’t want to be with her anymore”. I simply thought he didn’t want to give me details about the breakup or talk badly about his ex.
He asked me what my intentions were. I told him I just wanted to get to know him better, that I had made the mistake of starting my last relationship way too quickly, and whenever I got into a relationship again, whether it’s with him or anyone else, I want to take my sweet time getting to know that person. I told him I didn’t know if I wanted to date him because I didn’t know him well enough. He said that if I didn’t know him that much, it was my fault. I asked him how in the world was that my fault. He replied I never approached him, I never tried to start an actual conversation with him, that if I had just asked him, he would’ve told me everything I wanted to know. That is partially true. I mean, I did ask him a few questions about his life here and there, but we never got close to the point of becoming friends. Another guy started to work with us almost at the same time as him, and him and I are now best friends. Then, I asked him what his intentions were and he said that he had just ended a relationship, so he was not ready to start another one. That honestly broke my heart. It made me feel like everything I just told you was part of my imagination, that he only wanted to sleep with me and I had confused that with romantic interest. I felt so dumb. We talked for a little more. At some point I ended up talking about my goals, how I want to open a clinic and a restaurant and travel around the world, and he said he didn’t have any dreams like that. I said “Really? You don’t have any career aspirations? Any professional dream you wish to pursue?”
He said “I mean, obviously I want to get married and start a family, but I don’t really want a business or travel around the world. In fact, I would be happy being a stay at home dad.”
I incredulously asked “really? Being a stay at home dad is not just playing some cartoons for your kid while you go take a nap. It’s actually raising your kid, cooking every meal, cleaning the entire house”
He replied “May I remind you I used to own a house? I know how to do all those things!”
I said “Yes, but you did them because you had to. It was either doing those chores yourself or paying someone else to do them”
He said “But I actually enjoy doing those things. I’m just saying that if my wife could afford for me to stay at home, I would happily be a stay at home husband”
Honestly, I felt a little confused. Most men I know take being a stay at home dad as an insult, but he seemed genuinely happy about that possibility. I have always thought that an ambitious man is really sexy, but in my past relationships, my own ambitions have clashed with my partner’s. So I wondered, what if what I actually need is someone who supports me?
I did think maybe I could wait for him to be ready, but then this happened.
I told him that the Harry Potter movies would be showing in theaters next week and asked him if he wanted to go watch one with me. He said “Maybe, because a video game I have been waiting for months will come out that weekend, and I had already planned to spend the entire weekend playing. But still, text me next week and remind me about the movies, because I will probably forget”. I decided at that moment (even though I didn’t say it out loud) that I wouldn’t remind him about the movies. And I didn’t.
What I did tell him out loud was that I thought he didn’t seem very excited about that possibility, and he replied “You’re right, I’m not. I can watch the Harry Potter movies online any time I want, and also, I don’t like going to the movie theater. I don’t like places where there’s a lot of people, like movie theaters, concerts, malls, etc. I’d rather stay at home”. He ended the conversation by saying that I had his number, and that if I ever wanted to talk I could let him know, preferably in person, because he doesn’t really like texting. Then we both left because we had other things to do.

Even though I didn’t remind him about the movies, I did hear about him again a week later. My roommate works in the ER, and she told me he had went there due to a panic attack. I got incredibly worried. My roommate wasn’t able to tell me the whole story because of confidential issues, but she did tell me this:
“You know how you thought that relationship was rainbows and sunshine? It wasn’t, and that fucked him up. He broke up with her because she’s crazy, and she didn’t like that, so she accused him of physically assaulting her. Last night he was working out at the gym when the police came to arrest him and handcuffed him, but he denied the whole thing. He got so upset about the arrest that he ended up having a panic attack and the police themselves brought him to the ER. He told us his entire story with his ex, and let me just tell you that it’s weird how she says that he choked her, but when he showed up to the ER, it was HIM who had marks on his neck.”
The funny thing is that I bumped into him that same day in the afternoon. I was on my way to watch the second Harry Potter movie when I saw him.
I said “Wonder Boy! How are you doing?”
He smiled and said “I’m doing fantastic”
He didn’t know (and still doesn’t know) that I knew what happened to him, so I just asked him if he was sure. He replied that he was sure, that he was always feeling fantastic, and then he asked me where I was going. I reminded him they were showing the Harry Potter movies in theaters and that I was going to watch them, but he didn’t say anything about coming with me. When I mentioned I wasn’t very excited about watching the sixth one, he faked indignation and said “How dare you? The sixth one is really good!” I said it wasn’t, and we spent the next minute or so going back and forth about
“The sixth movie sucks”
“No it doesn’t!”
Then I ended the conversation by saying “Okay, I’m sorry for being right”
He smiled, I smiled, and we both walked away.
I reached out to him that same day during the night, I told him that I knew he would be busy that weekend, but maybe it would be nice to bake cookies next weekend. The conversation went like this:
Him: Possibly
Me: wdym possibly?
Him: There’s a lot of things going on in my life rn so I’m not sure if I will be available next weekend
Me: That’s okay, I understand. You know? Even when you feel you’re a zero, you will always be a hero to me
Him: I appreciate that but motivational words won’t really help rn lol
I didn’t reply anything after that, I just left him on read. After that I saw that he had sent a second text a few minutes after the first, but he deleted it before I could see it.

I did keep wondering, but I just left him alone for a week. Then, on Friday night, I sent him a message saying that it sounded to me like he was having a hard time, but that there was someone who cared about him. That if he needed space, I would give him space. And that if he ever needed someone to talk to, I would be there too. I sent that text at 7:30, then put my phone away to watch a movie. According to WhatsApp, he read it at 7:31 and then replied at 7:34. After the movie was over, I grabbed my phone and saw a text on my locked screen that said “I really appreciate that, but this is not a good time to start a relationship…”
There was more to his text, but when I unlocked my phone and pulled up his chat, he had deleted the whole thing. I left him alone, I didn’t send him another text, and I haven’t heard anything from him since. That was little more than a week ago.

I just need clarification. I can understand that this whole situation is messy and stressful for him. I just need to know if I didn’t imagine the whole thing, I need to know if that connection was genuine, I need to know if feels the same for me, even if it’s “right person, wrong time”. I can deal with rejection. I have rejected other people before, and other people have rejected me, it’s not the end of the world. I just wish he could say whatever he wants to say out loud. If it’s an “Eww no, get away from me”, I’ll walk away. But if it’s a “I do like you and need time”, I will let him know I feel the same way and give him the time he needs. I’m not in a hurry to start a relationship, like I said, I want to take my time to get to know him. I just think it’s unfair that earlier this year I assumed he didn’t like me and moved on with my life. Then I heard he had a girlfriend and left him completely alone. I hadn’t seen him for a whole month. I hadn’t thought about him romantically for months. And then he texts me drunk in the middle of the night and ruined everything. If he hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be telling this story. If someone asked me about him I would say “Wonder Boy? Oh yeah! I used to have a crush on him, but he didn’t feel the same. No biggie!” But no. Now this is even worse than before. Because not only do I have to get rid of my feelings for him but also get rid of the worry, of hoping he’s alright. I want him to be happy. I want him to be with me but, more importantly, I want him to be happy. No matter where he is or what he’s doing or who he is with. I just need to know everything will be alright.