Bonjours mes amis, Repurrter Jaspurr here, live from le Food Room, aka Maman's room, aka place where all de important food stuffs live. Today I report on a VERY confusing development, and frankly, dis iz all Mamans' fault. 😾

Normally, morning routine iz simple. Other Maman wakes up, feeds Jaspurr BREAKFURST, and Maman stays in bed doing sleepy times until Other Maman leaves fur sumfing called “job.” Ai, Jaspurr, understands dis system. Ai knows exactly which Maman to bother fur 2nd breakfast while da other Maman goes hunting fur hooman monies.

BUT TODAY???

BOTH MAMANS WOKE UP AT DA SAME TIME. 😳

Dis VURY suspicious.

Den both Mamans did da hooman grooming at THE SAME TIME. Loud buzzy brush on de teef's. Putting on outside furs over der weird bald hooman bodies. General hooman preparation noises. Ai watched dis unfolding from da Commant Sentur (mai favrit korner) and thought, “hmmm. Dis iz not normal.”

AND DEN...

BOTH MAMANS LEFT.

EXCUSE ME??? 😾

JASPURR WAS HOME ALONE.

No Maman available fur pestering.

No opportunity fur 2nd breakfast.

No opportunity fur EARLY DIN-DINZ.

No hooman available fur random neck scritches or staring at until she feels guilty.

I wuz confuzzled. But Maman DID come back earlier than Other Maman, because she wanted to be home on time fur din-dinz. So, credit where credit iz due.

BUT STILL.

WHY LEAVE JASPURR ALONE IN DA FIRST PLACE??? 😿

Later, Maman explainz de situation.

Apparently, Mamans don't do dat night jawb anymore. Dey haz NEW JOB during da daytime instead. Which meanz both Mamans now go outside during da day while Jaspurr stayz home.

Every day.

All DAY.

Tho dey did sey dey will ALWAYS be back on time fur DIN-DINZ.

But what about JASPURR???? 😾

Jaspurr miss Maman very much during da day. So Jaspurr decided to conduct peaceful protest. I went into da Food Room, sat directly in front of da camera thingy, and did a BIG SULK, az mai pawtest à distanciel.

I hope Maman saw me on da camera and understood my message:

“I AM SAD. I MISS YOU. ALSO I want SNACK.”

This reporter would like to stress that dis was an entirely legitimate expression ob feline emotional distress and NOT an attempt to look adorable on surveillance footage.

...Probably.

HOWEVER.

Maman did reveal one potentially important development.

New job pays MORE MONEY. 💰

And if hoomans get more monies, perhaps more monies can become...

CHURU. 👀

Suddenly dis new arrangement deserves further investigayshun.

Maybe Jaspurr can tolerate some daytime solitude if increesed hooman monies result in increased CHURU BUDGET. Perhaps sacrifice is necessary fur de greater good. Perhaps capitalism finally has one useful feature.

Still, de emotional dommage remains.

Therefore, as an advocate fur all cats, kitties, house creatures, floofs, voids, and other domestic residents who are forced to spend daytime hours alone while hoomans go outside hunting mysterious thing called MONEY, dis repurrter hereby proposes creation ob:

🐾 DA DAETYME 'BANDINMINT SUPPURRT GROOP 🐾

A safe space where we can gather, share our feelings, stare dramatically at doors, sleep approximately 14 hours, and discuss da Hard kwetchuns™ such as:

1. How will we kno da hours until DIN-DINZ wiffowt Mamans 2 pester?

2. Can we legally demand CHURU compensation?

3. Does sitting directly in front of camera count as protest?

4. Why do hoomans need 2 go owt 4 da moniez eben wen dey kno their cats r HOME ALOAN!!?!

Stay strong, mes amis. Stay vigilant. And remember: when hoomans leave fur da daytime, make sure dey know you are being emotionally inconvenienced.

Dis haz bean repurrter Jaspurr, KKMG Europ depawwtmint, reporting live from da Food Room.

😺BREAKING MEWS: MAMANS BOTH DO A DISAPPEAR AT SAME TIME??? JASPURR LEFT HOME ALONE IN DAYTIME BETRAYAL 😾