Nine years later, boyfriend (44M) still unsure about marrying me (34F). Do I already have my answer?

We have been together for over nine years; living together for seven. We love each other and our dog very much. Our lives are so intertwined, it's hard to imagine separating. But marriage is something that's very important to me, and I don't know where to go from here.

I've instigated numerous conversations about marriage since our second year together. I even proposed to him in year three (he declined). Each conversation felt like pulling teeth. He still gets physically uncomfortable talking about it. About two years ago, we finally had a breakthrough conversation where he admitted that his reservations about getting married had to do with how aspects of my personality affect the relationship.

• I feel big emotions, including anger. This can mean that I either bottle things up or take things out on him when he doesn't deserve it. I own this. It's something I've spent several years of therapy working through and continue to work on, for myself and for him. But I will never be perfect, and this mismatch in how we express emotion is a consideration for him.
• His job and his passions require him to travel a lot. Our vacations often center around his activities, and I manage to adapt and find things that I enjoy along the way. He also does a lot of solo vacations because he has the ability ($$, job flexibility) to do so. I have and express some resentment around this. It makes him feel guilty for pursuing his passions.

These things are not deal breakers for me, and perhaps that sounds crazy, but I recognize that there will be some level of conflict/mismatch in any relationship. I don't expect perfection. I am seeking unconditional love. I'm starting to realize, maybe too late, that that's a one way street in this relationship.

I read similar stories on this page, and most of the advice goes something like: "if it's not a 'yes' by now, it's a 'no,'" or "he's enjoying the comfort of a relationship without the commitment that you're asking for." I don't disagree with either of those points. I guess I'm hoping to hear from someone who's been in my shoes and achieved clarity one way or another.

Please be gentle with me in your replies because my heart breaks just writing this. Thanks for your time and kindness.