I ruined my career in the only field where I have employable skills

I’m autistic and I got fired from the IRS last month because I had a meltdown. My accounting career is pretty much ruined now. Ever since I got laid off in 2023 I haven’t been able to hold down a job for more than a few months at a time. Even if I’m able to get an interview somewhere, there’s no way I can explain my horrible resume without looking like I’m incompetent. Mainly because I am incompetent.

I’ll probably never do anything with my CPA license again. The problem is I have no other employable skills. I dedicated my life to accounting and now that’s gone.

Every day I’m alive is another day of leeching off the kindness and generosity of my fiancée. I don’t deserve her, and she deserves a better life partner. If I could just muster up the courage to end my life, she would be free. I don’t want her to spend the rest of her life tied to a failure like me. I would just drag her under the water and we’d both drown.

My twin brother is so much more successful than I’ll ever be. Any time my parents bring him up, he’s doing something impressive, and I’m not. Once I’m dead, he can be even more of a golden child for the family.

I contribute nothing to society. I am nothing.