in love with a married man

Hi everyone. I really need some perspective on this, so please be kind but honest.

I’ve fallen deeply in love with a married man, and it’s a kind of love I’ve never experienced before. What makes this so much harder is that the feelings are mutual. He tells me he loves me, and his actions and consistency make me believe him. We have an incredibly strong emotional connection, as well as a very intense physical attraction.

He’s about 20 years older than me, and I actually love that about him. He’s intelligent, compassionate, emotionally perceptive, and has this natural warmth that makes me feel safe and understood. We met completely unexpectedly, and neither of us had ever experienced a connection like this before. He loves his wife, though.

When I asked how he could love two women, he told me they’re different kinds of love, i expressed to him i have guilt but he expressed what he feels for me is more passionate. He isn’t someone who talks a lot about his feelings, so when he says something significant, I tend to believe him and hold onto it.

I know his circumstances are complicated. He has responsibilities and commitments, and I understand that loving me doesn’t automatically mean he can leave his marriage.

Part of me fantasizes that one day he’ll realize he can’t live without me and that circumstances will change enough for us to actually be together. And another part of me is terrified of getting my hopes up about a future that isn’t guaranteed. i know I probably need to protect myself, but I genuinely don’t know how to let go of someone I love this deeply when part of me still believes there could be a future.

I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I don’t want to spend years waiting for someone who may never be able to choose me. But I also can’t pretend this connection isn’t real.

How do you let go of someone you genuinely love when the feelings are mutual, but the circumstances are completely wrong?