I‘m about to start my fifth semester in political science and I absolutely love what I study. I’m required to do six semesters in which I write my thesis in the sixth and then I’m done (and possibly starting my masters degree).   
However since I don’t live at home anymore, my mum can’t work due to health issues and my dad being retired already they can’t provide me with much and I work as well. I covered a lot of shifts back in 2025 and it’s now catching up to me. I got absolutely nothing out of it and I’m now behind schedule which isn’t necessarily bad but I don’t want to do more semesters because I just want to get out of my hometown. 

It changed a lot since Covid, we had a terrorist attack back in 2020 too and it’s never been the same ever since, which drags me down a lot and just makes me want to leave and start over because I don’t recognise the city I was born in anymore. Kind of like being homesick but the other way around. 

I am currently working in retail and I’m not happy with it either. I absolutely hate customers plus the company is shit. I’ve been trying to find something that fits what I study but there are barely any positions for jobs, most are just looking for students that want to do an unpaid internship. 

I know it’s stupid to drop out after five semesters but I am scared I won’t find a job after graduating (which is silly because political science is more relevant than ever) but I’m scared I won’t make it. My uni is pretty competitive as well and sometimes I just feel like I’m not as good as other students, even tho my grades are perfectly fine. 

I applied for a scholarship that not only acknowledges grades but also ones social background and stuff like that and I’m scared that if I don’t get it it makes me lose my motivation even more. 

Also I’m on birth control (desogestrel, taking it daily) and I’ve had intermenstrual bleeding for like 4 weeks now and it’s pissing me off as well. Gyn said it’s normal but it’s still annoying and all of that is just catching up to me right now. 

Lunch was a waffle from ikea, coffee didn’t taste so well but the waffle was delicious 

Losing motivation for uni because I’m scared of my future