It’s so confusing

My ex (if I can call him that because we were never “official”) is so back and forth and I think I’m finally just annoyed and over it.

We dated last year couple months, long distance with lots of visits, then ends it because he doesn’t want to do long distance and doesn’t feel strongly enough to keep up long distance.

No contact for months. I already had plans to move closer to him (family there) for the this year. Months after he reaches out asking about my move, I confirm it again, and no contact continues.

We both go to a concert and run into each other, hang out and reconnect, and he’s showing he’s interested again. He keeps reaching out and we start to talk pretty often, flirty and reconnecting, in the month before I move.

I move up, we hang once, and sure it’s a little awkward but it’s been a year since things ended, so it makes sense. He says he’s not sure about a real relationship because of it though, and I say I’m fine having something playful and casual because I’m still adjusting from moving. He agrees. Then few weeks later after silence and ask what’s up, he says he changed his mind, it’s not a good idea to just have a casual hookup dynamic, and he just wants to be friends.

I’m bummed and confused but it’s whatever. We run into each other at a different event, go our own ways but he texts me to hang during and after the event and asks how I’m enjoying it. I politely just say I’m good doing my own thing/decline the invite and leave it alone.

That was a week ago, and today he texted me saying he wants me and asks me to come over. I say it’s confusing because he just said it was a bad idea. He says he still thinks of me, and I confess to thinking the same things and that I was fine with something casual before but he didn’t, so asked what he really wanted. Then he responds he just wanted to hook up but to forget about.

I’m so over his back and forth. He wants me one day and the next doesn’t. I was open to being casual and hooking up but he keeps flip flopping and doesn’t know what he wants. I know people will say to have self respect and walk away, and I’m trying. For whatever reason, I still care about him and want him in my life, but it’s like he just expects me to be there whenever and however he decides.