Please help me 30F with whatever this is with 27M!

TLDR. This is going to be a lot and I’m new here.

I’ve 30F been dealing with this guy 27M since last year. To circle back. In 2024 we met and were somewhat friends. The beginning of 2025 we both broke up with our partners for different reasons and began to get close. He had planned in 2025 to move out of state. At first everything was intense and moving well, but any time we’d disagree or have conflict he’d shut down and run away. In 2025 he lied a lot and almost was kind of reckless. Example is him going to the movies with a mutual friend (women) and not telling anyone. Needless to say it ended mid May in 2025 with us unfollowing and not talking to each other.

Fast forward and this year I saw him in the gym probably Feb 2026. I ignored him and then he came up to me about March to say hi. He then tried re-adding me on socials. I messaged him without accepting him and asked if he was actually willing to be a friend. Info I missed. Last year when things would get sour he’d tell me he’s moving so just friends but proceed to send me pics of him him if you catch my drift and make suggestive comments. That’s important because he agreed he could actually be a friend to me.

So slowly we chatted here and there. Until about July where he started actually interacting with me. Liking my stories and all that. Then came the sexual advances again. Sexual then became more of an emotional interaction, we hadn’t done anything.

Unfortunately I took poor advice from my work bestie and tried to take him up on the offer. Since in my head that’s all he wanted and maybe I could do that without any emotional attachment. I am demisexual basically. So I have to have an emotional connection with someone to do anything with them. Well we did it and he was saying how much he missed me and how pretty I was. Fast forward and things started actually developing between us. He’s share his day and what he was doing. We were planning on trips and dates. We went to breakfast and what not. He did say he was moving out of state again and I actually am too. So we did talk about why we would interact on that level if were both leaving. Which I explained doesn’t scare me. Both states are right next to each other. And I’ve dated someone while being out the country. I don’t have an issue with that kind of arrangement. But I kept asking for reassurance. Given the previous year and the amount of run around he gave me. I communicated that if I have any anxiety or doubts I’d go to him. He said that’s fine and I thought it was a safe space. Give it another month and a half and he kept letting me know he had plans with his girl friends last minute.

The women don’t bother me it was the fact he’d just say “oh I’m going to the concert with blank. She’s never seen this band”. I always felt blind sided. Well we had a “argument”. It was more me communicating what made me feel uncomfortable and then he basically told me I stress him out. Asking questions when hes at work or waking up to them. That I add stress. So I apologized because I didn’t know that’s how he felt since he told me I could ask him anything. Welp he said we should stay strictly friends. Hang out and talk but that’s it. It hurt me a lot but I accepted it even though it felt out of the blue and for a disagreement that could be resolved.

Well keep moving forward and he still was messaging me all day everyday. Sending me updates on where he was ( I never asked for that ever) and sending me music , etc. he then started kind of going off the rails for a couple weeks. Weirdly enough he also deleted a bunch of people (mostly women) he was following. And was sending me music or posting stuff about second chances and whatever. I kept respecting the boundary he set. Then he starts getting sexual again. But then when I said anything he said “remember we had this conversation, just friends” but he’d still do stuff with me if I’m comfortable. Listen I’m not a casual person. He knows that. I’ve said that. We also already talked about what a friend is to us. He said a friend is someone who he would hang out with. That he doesn’t send sexual stuff or do anything of that with a friend. And I did express I can’t do casual. I asked if he’s trying to be friends with benefits and he ignored answering. So against my better judgement, we did it again. I tried to distance myself while I was over. Sitting away from him because boundaries. He pulled me to cuddle on his chest. We did what we did. It was the I miss you, you’re so pretty, etc. all over again. Then I was going to leave since that’s it right? Wrong, he pulled me again to lay with him. I actually started falling asleep. Half asleep I felt him lean in and kiss my forehead rubbing my back. He let me stay for hours sleeping. I had to go to work so I left.

After that, another week or two of him kinda spiraling. Posting sad stuff and all this stuff about relationships. He also mentioned to me about moving out of state sooner and when I asked him if he has a gameplay he mentioned he did but might go to the state I mentioned??? So he said “if we go to the same state I guess I’ll see you there. Maybe, we’ll see”.

Then he flipped completely and started responding less and almost ignoring while still messaging me everyday. We played games together finally again and he would try to send me friend reels and stuff. Like trying really hard to speak to me as a bro that it felt weird. I did tell him I decided I am definitely going to the state I mentioned and he wasen’t really engaged in it. He kind of was like “oh really, well that’s good”.

Currently now he’s starting to be sexual again, calling me nicknames again, and sending me updates while also sharing things in his life. He’s posting less again and doing more with people outside. Which in my head is great. I’ve been encouraging and honestly just like “have fun, be safe”. But I’m so confused because he’s starting to message me updates again and sending me things that aren’t very friend like. This guy never answered when I asked what he felt for me. Even now he’s close but distant. It’s extremely confusing. I know I probably should cut this guy out of my life. But my emotions are still involved and I just need any advice.

There’s way more but I’ll answer any questions or anything if more clarity is needed!